What Makes Us Stronger
by LordGranthamsGirl
Summary: Charles Carson and Elsie Hughes are forced into trusting one another in a moment of great need which will put their feelings for each other at the forefront and whether they can endure the coming storm.
1. Chapter 1

This story takes off on the cancer scare with Mrs. Hughes with a different ending/story. I covet your thoughts in reviews. Thanks for reading. There will be more to the story, stay tuned! I'm a single mom so I struggle to get time to write. I promise to give it my best and write as much as possible!

*Disclaimer - I in no way am affiliated with Downton Abbey nor the characters there in. I claim no legal rights to the characters or plot lines.

**What Makes Us Stronger**

Dr. Clarkson entered the kitchen through the back door of the Abbey and asked for Mrs. Hughes.

"She's in her pantry, I believe. Let me check." Anna rapped lightly on the door before opening. "Dr. Clarkson is here to see you, Mrs. Hughes." She couldn't help but notice the look of concern immediately across the housekeeper's face. She gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you want me to send him in?"

"Of course, thank you Anna." She stood resolved, knowing that a personal visit from the doctor could mean the worst.

"Mrs. Hughes? How are you?" the doctor greets her warmly.

"Well I've certainly been better but I'm better than I deserve I suppose." She sighed deeply trying to make light of the moment.

"I was coming to see Her Ladyship to discuss the hospital charity drive and thought I would save you a trip into the village," he explains.

"Oh…I see…well that is kind of you. Please take a seat." Elsie motions toward her settee and she sits at her desk.

"Mrs. Hughes, I'm afraid I don't have the best of news." Dr. Clarkson fumbled with his hat before continuing.

Elsie's hands burst with perspiration and her heart begins to pound. "Oh?"

"The biopsy results were inconclusive, there was too much blood in the fluid we extracted to get a clear reading. However…I don't want you to think this is, in any way, a….positive. We are far from a positive result. This only means it's going to take longer to find out….if…."

"…it's cancer?" She finishes for him.

"…yes…" he says solemnly. "Mrs. Hughes….I feel I need to explain, though. I want to be completely honest with you. I've asked a colleague of mine, a specialist...in...this type of cancer... to review the findings and..." he hesitates.

"Go on..." She insists.

"He finds that the results will likely be positive...from what he sees." he hurriedly continues, "Againwe are not 100% certain at this point. If...IF the results come back positive, we will have lost a few weeks of treatment." His voice dropped to a more concerned, heavy tone. "I want you to do what you can to lighten your load here until we know. I would be happy to talk to her Ladyship if need be.

"No! No…that's fine. I can handle it." Elsie was finding it hard to breathe and hold tears back and she just wanted this meeting to be over. "Dr. Clarkson you are so kind to deliver this news personally. I assure you I will do everything I can to take it easy." She stood and held her arm out as if to lead him toward the door.

Somewhat stunned by the abruptness, Dr. Clarkson stood and gave her a warm pat on her shoulder. "Mrs. Hughes, I know this scary, but please…please try not to worry."

Tears pooled in her gray blue eyes and she only nodded quickly before shutting the door behind him.

Charles Carson stepped into the doorway of his pantry, his gaze following the doctor out of her sitting room. He was suddenly sick to his stomach for he knew something was wrong, he had just not been able to pull it out of Mrs. Hughes or Mrs. Patmore for the last few weeks but now he worst fears were confirmed. She was sick. He fell heavily against the door frame and stood for what seemed like an eternity. He returned to his pantry and paced back and forth. "Do I confront her now? Surely she will say something…' he thought. His mind was cloudy and he finally sat down in his desk chair and smoothed his hand across his brow. He was certain of a few things and he thought on those things for a long while. He was certain he loved Elsie Hughes. He was certain they were friends, good friends. He was certain he could not live his life without her in it. He felt he was at a crossroads where they were concerned, suddenly thrown into a moment of crisis that required action. He had a choice…to tell her, show her, how he felt and support her fully through this or leave things as they were and support her as a friend. He knew in his heart that she would never let him in the way he wanted to be if he didn't take a chance. 'You have nothing to lose you ol fool!' he tried to reason with that stubborn man, that fearful man.

Soon he left the comfort of his pantry and was standing at the closed door of her sitting room. He took in a great breath and knocked quietly, he waited only a second and opened the door to find her sitting with her chair turned away from the door.

"Mrs. Hughes?" He said in soft tone.

Her heart lept and she closed her eyes pushing the pooling tears down her cheeks. Charles. Him. She knew why he was here. She considered and decided she wanted him there. She would bring him into this if he wanted to come. She needed comfort…not just an ear to listen and maybe he could be that to her now. She turned her head only slightly to acknowledge him but she didn't answer.

"May I come in?" He questioned cautiously.

"Of course." She sniffed and ran her handkerchief across her nose.

He realized she is crying and his heart constricted in literal pain, his breath caught up in his throat before clearing it. "I…uh…." He stammered.

"…you….saw Dr. Clarkson leave…" she stated and then turned in her chair.

Charles' face fell at the sight of her sadness. "I…did…" he closes the door behind him. He crosses the small space between them in two steps and in a rare, unprecedented move, he bends and gets on one knee to be eye level with her. "Elsie…." His hands are shaking just a bit, she notices, and watches them move to her and gather her hands into his. "I want to know…." He bows his head and takes a deep breath.

Tears begin to stream steadily down her face and she rubs a thumb against the back of his hand, encouraging him. She knows him. She knows this is colossal. Her head is spinning with worry, fear, sadness, joy, desire. She has waited for him for so long, almost knowing how he felt about her but in her stubbornness would not be the aggressor.

"Please let me be here for you...whatever it is." His dark eyes rose to meet her shimmering blue orbs. She smiled slightly and reached her hand up to stroke his face. He was taken aback by this display of affection but didn't show it. He only leaned into her warm palm and closed his eyes against it. "Oh Elsie...what is it?" he questioned in a fearful and quiet tone.

"Cancer..." she breathes, barely above a whisper, yet her chests rises and sinks with every breath. His stomach turns over. "Oh God...oh Elsie...God..." Tears start to form in his own eyes and pulls her to him, still on bended knee. "I'm sorry...I've been such a fool not to come to you...I've known something was wrong."

"She runs her fingers through his thick hair. "Shhh..." she cries and pulls her up to him. "I've been a fool too."

They hold each other for a long while, no words, just holding on to each other for dear life. Finally, Elsie backs away and encourages him to stand. "Get off the floor, you're too old to be down there..." she chuckles through her sniffling and offers a steady hand.

Charles struggles to stand and winces when his knee pops rather loudly. He straightens his back and pulls his own handkerchief from his pocket and dabs at his eyes. He releases a heavy, sad and remorseful sigh. Elsie moves to the settee and pats the space beside her. "Come...sit." He joins her, moving his hand to rest on her knee without thinking, without hesitation, as if his hand on her knee was the most common and natural thing for him to do. It calmed her. She smiled at the gesture and soon covered it with her own. "Dr. Clarkson..." she begins quietly, "...says it will be several weeks before they know exactly but he and a colleague that specializes in...breast cancer...feel it is what I have." She lowered her eyes to hide the tears pooling again.

Charles turns to her, his mouth gaping open. He doesn't know what to say. His heart is racing and he feels a little dizzy. He closes his eyes again. "Elsie I'm sorry." his voice is almost desperate.

She takes his hands, lovingly in hers. "Charles, I'm not sure what is happening here...between you and me..." She lowers her gaze before continuing. "I'm glad you're here. I have wanted to tell you but I wasn't sure..." tears begin again.

"You weren't sure of...me?" he questions.

She raises her head, "I didn't want to bother you and until today, I thought everything was going to be okay..." she brings her fist to her lips to stifle her cries.

Charles gathers her to him once again. "It's going to be okay my love. I promise I'm going to be here and I'm going to take care of you!" he said with determination. He was overwhelmed, at this moment, with how much time he had wasted, how much had been lost. There was nothing to lose but her and that was not going to happen. "Elsie?" he pulled her away, strong hands firmly gripping her upper arms. "I've been a fool..."

She lays her head to the side and begins to interject, "Char..."

"No Elsie...let me finish." he takes her hands in his. "I've loved you..." tears light the brown orbs of his eyes. "I've loved you my dear...for as long as I can remember." That deep bass voice, usually smooth as butter, breaks as a tear escapes its boundary and runs down his cheek. She reaches to touch it with her fingertip and her own tears come fluidly. "I've let my pride, my foolish, stubborn pride stand in the way of telling you, showing you. My greatest regret will forever be the time I've lost with you. I don't want to waste any more time." He pauses and searches her watery eyes.

She says nothing, moves her fingertips over his lips and moves slowly toward him. Her swollen, wet lips, touch his ever so tenderly. They both allow the tears to fall freely, mingling together as their faces and lips touch. She continues to fondle his lips, cheek, chin with her fingers, her tongue finding his and caressing so gently and lovingly.

Charles was afraid he might pass out. He was dizzy with love and adrenaline, confusion and lust. His desire for her began to rise and he was suddenly on fire under his thick livery. The way she was touching him, his lips, her tongue, he had never imagined anything so sensual and certainly not know, this soon. He tried to think but it was futile. His brain would form a thought and immediately be annihilate when he realized what she was doing to him. "Oh Elsie..." he breathed heavily into her neck as she continued her exploration.

"Charles..." she whispered. "My...Charles..." she pulled him to her, his head still buried in her neck. "Charles..." she cried. "...closer...get closer..." Elsie suddenly could not get enough of him. "I need you...closer..." overwhelmed with love and exhaustion and relief, she broke down and let it all out. She sobbed against him.

Charles pulled her as close as he possibly could. "I'm here my love. I'm here..." he whispered. He had never imagined this, the way they had been pushed together. He had seen her cry through out the years for many reasons yet never for herself. He had witnessed a woman with a determined resolve and suit of armor to rival his own at times. In his years of fantasies and imaginings of them coming together, loving, needing one another, he had never imagined this. He was both scared and grateful for it. He wondered if he could be what she needed now.

Continued...

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Ya'll (yes I'm an American girl from the South) what I get confused is writing in present or past tense. I will try to clean this up…I'm sorry if it drives anyone crazy! It kinda does me when I write and then re read it so it will change. I just can't decide what way I want to write it! Suggestions? LOL

**Chapter 2**

"I see. Well, Carson we certainly cannot stand idly by." Lord Grantham nods his head while stalking around the library.

"I hope, M ' Lord you know how important this is to me..how important she is to me?

Charles' employer for the last 30 years stood in wonderment at his words. "To be honest Carson I dont! I've never...it's just you've never said anything, yet I understand you and Mrs. Hughes _must_ be friends, you've certainly been working closely for years..."

"Yes...I know I've not let on about my feelings..." exasperated, the Butler shakes his head! I've been foolish M ' Lord and now that she..." he can't bring himself to go on.

"Carson I will consider your request and give my answer tomorrow morning. Your proposal seems reasonable enough but I am fearful for both of my head staff to be gone for an indeterminate amount of time.

"Thank you M' Lord for your consideration." Carson nods and turns on his heal to leave.

Cora passes Carson as he leaves and she enters. "Good afternoon M'Lady? He offers as they pass.

"Indeed it is Carson!" she couldn't help but notice his worried expression as they passed. "What was that about?" she asks in a concerned tone to her husband.

Robert only smiled at her sensitivity, always on high alert. He reaches over to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. "You never miss a thing do you darling?"

"What is it?" she questions again.

"Well it seems Mrs Hughes is sick and Carson has just told me he loves her and wants to take her to get the best medical treatment he can. In fact he said he wants to marry her. Can you believe that?" Robert chuckles.

"Of course I can!" Cora answers with complete confidence.

Robert jerks his head in her direction as if he heard wrong. "What?"

"Robert? Are you blind? She questions with an indignant tone. "Carson has been pining for Mrs. Hughes for years.

Robert walks to the settee and sits down next to his wife. "You can't be serious?"

"Oh but I am serious! It seems everyone in the house knows it but you!"

"Cora! Don't be silly! I am not that out of tune with what is going on in my own house." He rolls his eyes.

"Well, I will tell you this, whatever Mrs. Hughes needs, we must give it to her. We must take care of her."

"I quite agree but I can't see that letting Carson leave with Mrs. Hughes to receive medical care is in our best interest!" Robert was becoming more exasperated.

"Would you listen to yourself?" Cora stared at her husband. "Darling…this is not about YOU or Downton! This is about someone we care for, we love, that needs our help."

Robert stood and walked to his desk. "Cora, I have a meeting with tenant farmers in 10 minutes. I cannot discuss this now."

"We will discuss it…maybe not now but we will. This is matter of great importance." She stormed out of the room and Robert followed her with his eyes.

_'__Am I really blind to what is going on around me?'_ he wondered.

* * *

"Now you rest. I don't want you downstairs for any reason. I will send Anna to check on you soon." Charles sat on the side of Elsie's bed and smoothed the blankets across her chest.

"You're making too much fuss over me Mr. Carson." She teased. "I'm not incapable of work." Elsie cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows to him.

"I know you're not…" he softens his tone and takes her hand in his and lets out a heavy sigh. "I _want_ you to rest. It's been a difficult morning and I don't want you to have to answer questions or be subject to wonder." He gives her a sweet smile while caressing her hand.

She is moved by his gesture and sudden vigilance to her care. "Charles, we can't hide."

He nods, knowlingly. "I know and we won't. I have no intention of hiding my love for you. I just thought you might need some time to process….everything."

She smiles and reaches to move a piece of his graying hair back from his forehead. "You are right. I do need some time to myself." She expresses quietly. She studies his face, the deep lines in his forehead, his clean, shaven, cheek, the beautiful olive tone of his skin in the lamp light. Her stomach turns a flip and it causes her breath to catch. She blushed.

"What is it?" His eyes follow hers and it worries him when her breath hitches. "Are you okay?"

Elsie laughs slightly. "No…I'm fine. You took my breath away. You're so handsome Charles." She strokes his face with the back of her fingers.

He moves in and takes her face in his hands and brings his lips to hers. Soon they are locked, passionately and feverishly, until their lungs betray them. Charles pulls away finally and struggles to steady his breathing. He stands and turns away, pacing the floor in front of her bed.

She watches him, somewhat amused yet knowing the exact feeling of frustration he was feeling. Her eyes wandered to his trousers which were bulging a little farther than normal. She immediately chastised herself, silently. _'Elsie Hughes! Stop this!'_ "I'm sorry Charles." She says sheepishly with her eyes lowered to her folded hands.

"Don't apologize! I should be the one apologizing. I didn't mean to be so forward I just…." He sits again on the bed, noticeably adjusting his trousers when he does.

"I know. You don't have to explain." Elsie takes his hand again. "You better go, it will be luncheon before long."

He stared for a long while, at her. "I love you Elsie Hughes." He started in to kiss her but abruptly stopped himself. "No..I'm going to go now." His tone turned back to the Butler. "I will check on you after luncheon and send Anna in between. Please rest my love." He pleads as he headed toward the door.

She smiled sweetly and puckered her lips and kissed the air toward him once he turns around. "Uh dear?"

"Wha? Yes?" he stammered at the opened door.

"You might want to take care of that before you go down." She grinned with one finger over her upper lip and pointed toward the front of his trousers."

Charles glanced down and his face flushed bright red as he moved his arm self-consciously over the placket of his trousers.

Elsie starts to giggle. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…. I didn't mean to embarrass you Charles."

Charles raised his eyebrows, "Well this isn't the first time I've had to hide a rise you've given me! You're a little minx!" he teased before leaving her to revel in this new found dialogue, joy. She laid back on her pillow and drifted into a blissful sleep, worlds away from the thoughts of illness…cancer.

TBC….

LOVE the comments and thoughts about plot. I have no idea where this will go, I'm just enjoying putting my daughter to bed and WRITING! It's been too long!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The few staff sitting in the servants hall jumped from the table as Cora Crawley stepped into the doorway. "Please..don't get up." She waved them all down.

Hearing the commotion, Carson steps from his pantry. "Oh M'lady...what brings you down?"

"Carson, might I have a word with you?" Cora smiles sweetly and walks toward him.

"Of course." he nods and gestures with his outstretched arm toward his pantry. He closes the door behind them and offers her to sit.

"Carson, I've spoken to his Lordship and I know Mrs. Hughes is sick, however, he had a meeting to get to so I'm not aware of just how sick? I wondered if you could fill me in on the details?"

He was weary of this day and the thinking and the worrying, and trying to figure things out, but he knew this would be a new normal for him so, mentally, he soldiered on. "Yes well...Dr. Clarkson was here earlier and informed us...her...that he had spoken with a specialist, and reviewed her tests and the specialist seems certain it is...cancer..."

Cora's hand flies to her mouth, "Oh Carson! Oh dear." She sits in the chair most available and tries to take it in.

Once again, Charles' stomach turns over as he is reminded of the possibility of what lies ahead for his love. He continues with heaviness that makes her sad. "It's...it's not certain yet but..." tears pool in his eyes, he lowers his head to attempt to hide his emotion.

Cora's mind raced, desperately thinking what to say...do. She suddenly snapped to; her determined spirit and compassion for her staff trumping the gravity of the situation. She stands and grabs his hands in hers.

Accosted by her touch, Charles pulls his head up. She sees his tears and her heart aches for him. "Robert told me Carson...and I can't be more pleased knowing you've found your way to her. We will take care of her, do whatever we have to to get the best care possible. Don't you worry!" She squeezed his hands.

The stoic and normally constrained butler struggles to hold tears back. "Your Ladyship, I'm sorry. I've suddenly become a cry baby. I'm sorry to embarrass you." He reaches for his handkerchief.

"Oh you poor dear Carson. You needn't apologize. I find it incredibly endearing and wonderful that you feel so deeply for Mrs. Hughes. I've suspected for a while that you two shared feelings."

He gives her that characteristic half smile but it's weary and sad. "Yes well, I've been a fool M'Lady. I've let so much time pass."

"Carson what is important is you are here now and you are acknowledging how you feel. It may be the very thing that carries her through. Sometimes it"

Carson stared off as if he was looking at something in the distance. "I'm counting on it..." he voices quietly.

Carson carried a small tea tray and rapped lightly on her door, not wanting to wake her if she was sleeping. He pushed it open and she indeed was turned away from him. He stepped across the room to her bed and leaned over her. When he did, his weight shifted and the floor board under him made a loud annoying creak. He winced at the sound and of course she stirred and turned over.

"Mmmm..." she smiled sleepily and held her hand out to him.

In 20 plus years of being near Elsie, Charles considered that he had only been in this room a few times and never seen her sleeping. He sat the tea tray down on the bedside table, took her hand and sat down in the chair beside her bed. His eyes were heavy and his countenance low. He brought her hand to his warm lips and closed his eyes against it. "You look weary Mr. Carson." She called his proper name only out of habit but it made him feel good to hear her voice, addressing him in a loving tone.

He didn't want to be down, he wanted to be able to bring her spirits up but he was sick with worry, with love, fear. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into this bed beside her and hold her until they awakened from this nightmare. But he knew he must be strong and keep a front for those around him, for her sake. She would not want the whole house knowing what was going on and he intended to protect her in every way. "I'm fine.." he reassures her. His throaty, bass voice soothes her. "Did you rest? I brought you tea."

"I did." She sits up and tucks a long dark tendril of hair behind her ear. "I must look a fright!" She was suddenly self conscious.

"Elsie Hughes, you are beautiful..." he soothed while pouring her a cup of tea.

"Won't you join me?" she takes a sip and notices he isn't partaking.

"No. I can't stay. I had a delivery of wine that needs to be inspected before dinner service." He rubbed his brow and sighed deeply.

Her heart ached for him. His safe and predictable world had turned up on end today and it was because of her. She leaned over and put her cup down. "Charles?" she takes ahold of his hand. "I'm sorry."

"Why should you be sorry?" coming to attention, he sat straighter and pitched those dark brows in astonished questioning.

"I'm afraid I've made a mess of things," she said quietly. She feared this would happen by letting him in. She knew him, knew his constant state of worry about this house, his staff; he shouldered the responsibility far too internally. In that world he had built around him, Carson was always sure, certain of the way things were and should be and fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. There couldn't be a bigger upset in his world than what had happened today. Yet it was a bittersweet joy she was feeling, knowing the road ahead could get very rough and that he would worry himself sick over her but his response to her this morning, in her sitting room, could not have comforted her any deeper than it did. The years of wondering, reading in, contemplating, longing, aching came to an abrupt halt. In a moment, both of their worlds intersected and just like that, they stepped onto another plane. They could never go back to how they were at dawn.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and suggestions through just feeling these characters and what should happen. I find it all useful and encouraging. I've had a rough week, so busy with last week of school for my kindergartener AND both of us battling an upper respiratory infection! UGH! This chapter was tough and probably the least satisfying. Those who write, know what I'm talking about, eh? So stay with me…the thoughts and scenarios are in my head, it's just getting it down in words! Isn't it amazing how the story changes on its own once you start writing it?!

Chapter 4

Dinner service was torture for Carson. It seemed longer than necessary and try as he might, he simply could not concentrate. His mind was upstairs…with his love. He stood in place but his attention was not focused and when the Dowager addressed him with a question, it brings everyone's attention to his inattention.

"Carson?" Robert snapped in a loud tone.

"Milord…yes. I'm sorry." Carson steps forward, flushed with embarrassment.

"Carson, you seem a million miles away this evening, is everything alright?" Lady Mary questions with genuine concern.

"Yes of course Lady Mary. I'm fine."

The Dowager gives him a knowing glare. "Hmphf! I beg to differ!" she breathes under her breath.

Carson's eye catches Cora's and she gives him an understanding smile and slight nod. He remains staunch and moves to get the dessert wine to serve.

"How are you feeling Mrs. Hughes?" Mrs. Patmore questions her friend as she enters the kitchen.

Mrs. Hughes smiles slightly and nods. "I'm rested…I know that! How has the day gone?"

"Good, dinner should be done soon. Are you hungry? Can I get you something now?"

"No…no..I'm fine. I'll eat with everyone else in a bit. Thank you Mrs. Patmore." Before she can turn, Mrs. Patmore grabs her arm. "Dr. Clarkson was here, I heard?" she questions with a look of great concern.

Mrs. Hughes countenance drops and she pats Beryl's arm. "He was here. No news yet however. He was here to see her ladyship and thought he would stop to see how I was doing," she lied. She would let Beryl know the details soon but not now. She wanted to wait for Charles without thinking about illness right now.

"Well that was kind of 'em." Mrs. Patmore observes.

"Yes…yes it was. I'll let you know when I know something further," she promised and she meant it. She turns to go to her sitting room and closes the door behind her. It felt good to be downstairs; she had slept a good long while and felt rested. She hoped Charles would be happy to see her.

She heard the familiar sound of the young footmen descending the stairs and knew he wouldn't be far behind. She listened closely and soon heard that heavier, slower cadence of his rhythm on the staircase. She closed her eyes and smiled, anxious to see him. Elsie then heard the slam of his pantry door and it shocked her from her thoughts. She opened her door and went to the servant's hall, the staff was preparing for dinner. She glanced in with a stern look figuring one of the footmen did something to upset Mr. Carson.

Elsie wrapped on his door and turned the knob. Carson spun around to berate whoever was bold enough to interrupt him now. He was shocked when his eyes met hers. "Mrs….Hughes!?" he relaxes his posture and closes his eyes, motioning her in.

She crosses the room to him and puts a comforting hand on his arm. "What is it?" Her eyes follow his. "Jimmy again?"

Carson chuckles, "no…surprisingly…everyone at dinner service was spot on…all except me!" He rubs his brow.

"What? Whatever do you mean?"

"I acted like a nit!" Charles shook his head. "AW! It doesn't matter, why are you down here?" He leaned on his desk and grabbed her hands and pulled her closer. "I thought I told you to stay in bed today?!" he tried to change direction of the conversation.

Elsie smiled and lowered her eyes. "Truth be told, I was missing you and I've slept more today than the last week put together, Mr. Carson…" she caught herself, "Charles."

He pulled her into a comforting hug, held her tightly and considered never letting go. His nose buried in her lavender scented hair, stealing a nudge and kiss to the soft flesh behind her ear.

His lips on her skin sent shivers through her, set her lower abdomen to tingling before she pulls away. "Let's go to supper. We don't want to hold them up." Elsie knew being in here with him, for too long, would not only raise questions outside the door, but it would only frustrate him further.

"No of course not." He sighed inwardly at having to part from her but knew it was right.

It grew unusually quiet when the Butler and Housekeeper entered the servant's is until Thomas Barrow decided to break the silence. "So..looks like the love birds have decided to join us."

Charles jerked his head toward the middle of the long wooden dining table. Elsie was standing close enough with her hand turned just at the hem of his jacket; she knew this would set him off. She carefully reached around the back of him and touched his hand gently, encouraging him to let it go. Elsie glares sternly at Thomas as he grins. Carson stares him down as he takes his seat. "We will all thank you to shut your mouth for the duration of dinner, Thomas!"

"Here Here" Bates quips quietly, while giving Thomas a look of contempt.

"Just stating the obvious!" He purses his lips and takes a drag off of a cigarette before putting it out.

The sides of Carson's jaw flex and Elsie gently covers his knee with her hand, again to encourage him. He wasn't the least bit ashamed or embarrassed of Thomas' words, in fact, it would not be long before he could announce to all of them his intentions where Mrs. Hughes was concerned. It was Thomas' constant need to be at the center of attention. his perverted way of blasting anyone with a tiny bit of a story to tell. He had argued in the past with Mrs. Hughes, she seemed to carry some sympathy for him but Carson could not understand it. He felt nothing but disdain for the young man. Her soothing touch did just that..soothed his senses and distracted him from wanting to sucker punch Barrow as soon as he could. He reached below the wooden table and squeezed her hand in his. That's all he needed he thought. Her touch to bring him back, her words, her love to balance him. It's all he has needed for as long as he can remember and now, he hoped...prayed..it would be there for as long as he lived.

They finished supper and the staff commenced to finish their nightly duties before turning in. Elsie returned from the attic to a quiet and dim hallway. She stopped and stood for a moment, taking in the silence. This day had been more silent than any she had spent in a long long while.

"Well you decided to join the living today I see!" Mrs. Patmore chided her friend, playfully.

"Oh yes. I was ordered to my room and I must say it was nice…to rest…" Elsie smiled.

"Come on, I've got something to tell ya." She gestured for Beryl to follow her to her sitting room.

"Robert, you must see how important this is! We have an obligation to care for our staff." Cora sat at her vanity, smoothing cream over her arms and elbows. Robert sat on the chaise near her, mostly thinking and not listening.

"I DO care about our staff, Cora!"

She stopped him, "yes I know you care _about_ them but we must care _for_ them when the time comes and that time is here." Cora stops and looks intently at him.

"We don't even know yet if Mrs. Hughes is ill. I think we are putting the cart before the horse here."

"While we don't know the exact prognosis for Mrs. Hughes, we do know how Carson feels about her and that it is his desire to pursue that. Robert?" Cora moves from her vanity seat and to the chaise with him. She snuggles into his lap and he leans back to allow her room. "Darling, put yourself in Carson's place, for just a moment, think about how he must feel."

Robert leans his head back on the chaise lounge and closes his eyes. He knew he was not going to win in a war of words with her and particularly where relationships were concerned. However, he did as she asked and he thought about Carson. "Cora, are you forgetting that he chose a life of service."

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Imagine being in a position that held you prisoner when you longed for something you could not have. If you were denied the right to love someone and be for another person what you ached to be." Cora ran a slender finger in between the buttons on his pyjamas and began making slow circles in the soft hair at his chest. "I went downstairs to speak with Carson today. He is sick Robert…sick with love. You can see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. I think we all witnessed it at dinner." She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Cora, are you trying to seduce me into oblivion so I will agree?" He grins.

"Not at all. I truly want you to do this because you believe it's right." She gets up and leans down to kiss him tenderly on the lips. He receives it but furrows his brow in confusion when she walks away.

"Where are you going?" He sits up on the lounge.

"To bed. I think it best if you sleep in your dressing room tonight. Please consider what we have talked about. Please lay aside your own feelings." With that Cora left him sitting there and walked into her bathroom and shut the door. Robert sat, somewhat frustrated, his own need growing in his pajama pants. He shook his head and stomped off to his dressing room.

"So we won't know until the report comes back from the pathologist or something or other in London." Elsie spoke softly to her closest female friend in the house.

"But…but the other doctor…" Mrs. Patmore's face was screwed up in confusion and concern.

"He thinks it's cancer." Her Scottish lilt was thick and sharp.

"But…what does Dr. Clarkson think?" Mrs. Patmore was not sure how to respond, she was grasping for any hope.

"He doesn't know. He wants me to remain hopeful during this time and rest as much as possible. It could be weeks before we know anything.

"My God…" Mrs. Patmore shakes her head. "They can create something as useless as the telephone and can't read an x-ray for weeks! I just don't understand!"

Elsie chuckled at her frustration. "Well we will just have to wait it out." Elsie wondered if she should tell Beryl about Charles and his admission to her this morning. She knew it would thrill her beyond words. Beryl had teased her mercilessly for years about the connection between them. It was the only cause of her hope right now, she figured it would be out soon enough and she definitely wanted Beryl to hear it from her.

"I've got another bit of news." She could hardly contain the glee inside her.

Mrs. Patmore looked up with a suspicious glare. "What?" Elsie brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Well what in the world is the matter with ya? You just deliver the news that you may have cancer and are now giggling like a school girl!"

"He told me he loved me!" Elsie laughed.

"What?"

"He TOLD me he loved me!"

"WHO?" Mrs. Patmore questions, knowing exactly who she was talking about.

Elsie rolled her eyes. "MR. CARSON! He told me he loved me and intends to stay by my side through this." She sits up a little prouder.

Mrs. Patmore stared like she had been slapped. "Well….what did you say?" she finally questioned.

"I told him I love him back." Elsie laughed again. Her insides jumping with excitement at talking about Mr. Carson like this.

The two friends talk a bit longer until there is a soft knock at the door. They both look at each other and smile. "I'll be going…leave you two to….." she stops herself before she goes too far. They both giggled.

Elsie stood to see Mrs. Patmore out as Charles opened the door. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…."

Mrs. Patmore cut him off. "Quite all right Mr. Carson, I was just leaving." She stopped inside the door way and looked up at him with a goofy smile then walked away shaking her head.

Charles' eyebrows waggled curiously at Mrs. Patmore then to Elsie.


	5. Chapter 5

This is a short chapter but it needed to end where it did! I will be out of town starting Friday so I'll TRY to put more up but not sure how much will get written! Love the feedback..keep it coming!

* * *

She was smiling, ear to ear, as he came in and shut the door. He looked back toward the closed door. "What was that about?"

Elsie just shook her head. "Oh you know Mrs. Patmore, always the joker."

"Yes, I do." He went to her cabinet and got out a bottle of sherry and their customary 2 glasses. "Mmm…what a day," he sighed.

"A good day, no?" she questioned him cautiously.

He handed her a glass and sat, his eyes focused right on her. "A good day, yes." He confirms yet feels like he is not being completely honest. "Elsie, it's been a day of change, of enlightenment, a lot of joy but also a day of uncertainty and turmoil…especially for you." He said sadly. "For that I'm so very sorry."

Elsie takes his hand speaks with surety and confidence, "Charles, you have made this day one of the happiest of my life."

He sat quietly and looked at his hands, searching for just the right words. But silence caused her to doubt herself and her face suddenly flushed with embarrassment. She considered that maybe she was being too forward; maybe he was caught up in the moment and made admissions, this morning, which he wasn't completely comfortable with, didn't mean exactly. She turned away and silently chastised herself for putting that kind of pressure on him.

Charles covered her hand with his other one and gave her that half smile. "Elsie…"

"No…I'm sorry Charles." Elsie stood up. "It's unfair of me to say something like that. I know you feel my illness is yours to take on but I do not want you to worry and feel you have to take care of me." She gave him a sad look.

Charles stood and took her fiercely in his arms. "Elsie Hughes don't you dare rob me of this moment and don't you rob yourself of it. I have waited for this for more years than I can remember." He looked up at the ceiling, closing his eyes tight, almost as if he was saying a prayer. "Oh..the nights I've longed for this, to touch you and be close to you; take you in my arms and hold you." He pulled away just enough to look at her, but not letting her go, his eyes were brimming with tears. "Don't push me away. Let me be here, let me….love you." He pleaded.

There were no words to convey what she was feeling so she just reached for his face, her fingers to his lips. "I love you," she whispered. She caressed his lips between gentle, tender kisses. Soon they were lost. The desperation of love and passion came barreling its way in and they were powerless to stop it.

Minutes turned into hours, the night wore on as they talked and kissed and fondled and stroked each other under the dimly lit fire light. They laughed and let themselves be vulnerable and emotional with each other. They talked of family and childhood and things they would've done…the people they may have become if not finding their way to Downton. Neither of them gave a thought as to how late it was and what tomorrow would bring, not having any sleep. They were as comfortable as any couple could possibly be. They spent the night removing inhibitions and connected emotionally like they never had. When the passion would begin to overtake them, Charles was always the gentleman and would pull away.

"Elsie, I will not mar your good name and reputation. I want to marry you, want to make you my wife before…." He lowered his eyes.

"Oh…go on," she teased, "that's the trouble with you proper men…always doing the right thing!" she laughed and hit him on the arm.

"Of course…you know…I _do_ want you." His voice was a low rumble, his eyes dark with desire. There is nothing I want more than to…make you mine completely."

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes; that smooth, bass voice of his driving her nearly mad. "I want it too Charles. And I'm not as proper as you think." She gave him a doleful look. "Let's don't wait too long."

"I promise." He kissed her and reluctantly suggested they retire to their rooms. "Oh my darling..it's so late. I'm afraid I've kept you too long."

"And I wouldn't have changed it for anything." She stroked his cheek and then patted the front of his chest. He had removed his jacket, waistcoat and tie and unbuttoned the top 2 buttons of his shirt. She rarely saw him casual and it always caused a stirring within her. She smiled, knowing that she would go to bed tonight and dream of the day when he will sit in his favorite chair in their cottage, reading a book, his hair tousled and she darning his socks and hemming his trousers, ironing their sheets and cooking his favorite meals; they will stay in bed past 7 and sleep naked beside one another. He will chase her around their little kitchen after hours of love making and will feed her chocolate cake at 2 in the morning.

These were the thoughts that she must think on, continually, and never let herself think otherwise. She walked hand and hand with him until they reached the narrow staircase to their rooms. He ushered her ahead of him and kissed her, lovingly, goodnight as she entered the hallway that lead to her room. She stood and watched his silhouette walk out of sight and the pending gloom of her possible prognosis flooded her memory and she cried for her, for him..both of them until dawn.

TBC….


	6. Chapter 6

Ok! I cranked out another quicky! J This will be it for a few days! It's Memorial Day weekend here in the states so Happy Holiday to everyone here!

Chapter 6

Robert sat up on the side of the bed, his head wet with perspiration; he had tossed and turned all night; his dreams a horrible jumble of devastating scenes. He sighed heavily remembering…Cora and Sybil and another female figure he could not place, but felt familiar to him. Cora and Sybil were stranded in a boat, on a lake, and he was trying desperately to reach them and could not. Every time he got close the boat would veer in another direction and he was helpless to save them.

He would awaken thankful to rid his mind of the horrible thoughts only to fall asleep again, the dream starting where it left off. By morning he was exhausted and deeply disturbed. The woman he could not place was standing on the shore, begging him to help them. Cora and Sybil's screams for help kept resonating in his head. He sat for a long while on the side of the bed, his thoughts heavy.

He thought of Carson and Mrs. Hughes; he thought long and hard about Carson, considering the ache in his own chest, at the thought of not being able to get to Cora, and realizing how his heart must ache now. He is struck with a deep empathy for this man who had given him and his family so many years of devoted service. Robert was suddenly ashamed that he had not immediately granted Carson's request. Like so many times, it was his wife who made sense of it all. He looked at the clock, it was barely 5. He went to Cora's bedroom and stood watching her sleep for a moment before reaching down to kiss her tenderly on the forehead.

She stirred and her blue eyes opened slowly. "What is it?" she whispered.

"You're beautiful." He knelt down and brushed a dark curl away from her eyes.

Cora smiled. "What time is it?" She sat up to look toward the windows.

"It's early darling. And I'm sorry to wake you. I just have been thinking about what you said and...I want to do right by Carson and Mrs. Hughes. They deserve each other and..." he paused and sighed. "They deserve to be with each other...to love and..." He shook his head and lowered it. "Oh Cora, I can't imagine my life without you."

Cora reached up to touch his face. "Darling, I knew you would realize how important this is."

"I had a dream, Cora. It was simply awful. I couldn't get to you and Sybil. I tried and you were screaming and Sybil..." Robert swallows hard and tears rush to the surface, threatening to spill over. "Sybil..." he whispers and the tears come.

She sits up and motions for him, "Oh sweetheart...come..." Robert, like a little boy, gets in the bed beside her. She gathers her to him. "Shhh...it's okay."

"Oh Cora...I wasn't there when Sybil needed me the most." He searches her eyes.

"Robert, we promised each other we would never speak of that again." He lays his head gently on her chest, she strokes his hair. Soon the closeness and raw emotions lead to more. They make love; deep, connected passion that only comes from understanding someone so fully.

Charles squinted and looked at the clock. It was almost 6. He allowed himself to sleep in a little longer since he only went to bed 3 hours earlier. He was surprisingly alert and awake, wanting to see what this day would hold. He knew _who _he wanted to be holding, as much and as long as the day would allow. _'Elsie...my sweet Elsie,'_ he smiled as the words left his lips. His dreams had been filled with her, the way she touched his lips in that way that was quickly becoming his favorite thing about her. He wondered how she slept and hurried to wash up and get dressed so he could find her.

He was disappointed when he got downstairs and she was not in her sitting room. He shook it off and was thankful she had decided to sleep in too. He started his work with a spring in his step and hummed a little tune.

Elsie stood quietly, gazing out the window, at the sun rising slowly over the eastern edge of the estate. She had left the quiet of the servant quarters hours before, for the comfort of one of her favorite rooms in the castle. It was far away from the hum of the rest of the house and she often retreated there to clear her mind, dream, and think about the man she loved so deeply. The room, itself, reminded her of home….Argyll; the modest house she grew up in, the blue and cream hues gave her that warm feeling of being in her mother's kitchen, listening to her sing as she cooked. If she couldn't be in Charles' arms, naturally, this was the place that could soothe her pensive soul.

She soon smoothed the bed spread back to its perfect condition, where she had rested her body for part of the night. She was anxious to see Charles, hoped he had gotten a few hours of sleep. Mentally, she pushed down the foreboding and smoothed her dress out, checked her hair pins, steadied herself and closed the door of the quiet and walked into the noise of the life that had been hers for more than 20 years.

He saw her, crossing the landing of the second floor above the Saloon, and was puzzled. '_Why was she coming from that way'?_ Charles thought to himself. She didn't see him but his eyes followed her as she reached the grand staircase. It was customary the staff not use the main staircase but both of them knew that no family would be up this early so she turned onto the stairs and saw him watching her. They both smiled without speaking. He watched her ascend the stairs; imagining her in a white gown and coming down to take his arm and become his wife.

She reached him and glanced about her before stretching up on her toes to place a warm greeting on his lips. "Good morning, love." She purred in that morning voice that he had only heard on a few occasions. He took note of it. He was mentally filing away the things that were endearing her to him, the things that were driving him mad with love and desire for her and the things that he would claim as _'only for him'. _

He quickly realized she was wearing the same dress as last night. "My love…why are you in the same dress?" He glanced up stairs again and thought about where she had come from. "Did you sleep?"

"Not much, but I'll be okay. I slept all day remember?" She smiled and put her arm around his waist and nudged him to walk with her. "How are you this morning? Did _you_ sleep?"

He followed suit, wrapping his arm around her small waist and walking slowly toward the staircase leading downstairs. "I did sleep some. I feel good…happy." He looked at her and pulled her a little tighter to his side. "Are you okay? Why didn't you sleep?"

Before they reach the stairs he turns her in his arms. "Be honest with me. We are in this together and I want to know everything you are feeling..the things that keep you awake at night, the thoughts that keep you going and your fears…about the future."

Elsie could barely comprehend the man Charles had suddenly become. It was the man that was in her dreams; the man that she longed for. His confidence in them seemed a thousand times greater than it was even yesterday. She wanted to share everything with him, all of her. She laced her arms through his and let her hands rest on his lower back. She pulled him to her, their bodies pressed together. "I will Charles. Not now but later. I promise." She again reached to kiss him and he leaned down to meet her lips.

They stayed that way for a long while, she touching his lips with her fingers just before they parted. He kissed her finger tips and sighed contentedly. "Oh Elsie.I wont last long like this. Let's get married!" He exclaimed with a childlike glee.

She laughed and pulled back a bit. "NOW?"

"Yes! Now!" He grinned.

"What about our jobs Mr. Carson?!" she asked sarcastically.

"I don't care about anything but you, Elsie Hughes. We have a life to live…together! I want it to start as soon as possible!"

She still chuckled knowing that he would not; they _could_ not leave service right away. But with abandon and blind love she agreed! "Okay! Let's get married!"

TBC…..


	7. Chapter 7

"Carson, might I have a word in my library?" Lord Grantham stood from the breakfast table. "Meet me when you are finished with breakfast service."

"Certainly Milord," Carson's hands burst with perspiration as he knew this would be a pivotal meeting in his years of service at Downton.

* * *

He finished breakfast service and went to Elsie's sitting room. She was working at her desk. "May I come in?"

She turned in her chair with a smile. "Of course."

He stepped inside and shut the door quietly behind him. "Come here."

She got up and stepped over to him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her long and hard. "I love you." He smiled and searched her blue orbs.

"Well, what did I do to deserve that?" she teased.

"You deserve to be kissed like that every day of your life. And I intend to do it…and _much_ more." He wiggled his bushy eyebrows and kissed her again.

"Mmm…I'm anxious to see the _much_ more!" She reached around and squeezed his bottom and they both chuckled.

"It won't be long my dear. I have a meeting with his Lordship right now and I will have an answer to our future before you get that invoicing done."

Elsie turned her head in question. "What do you mean?"

"I'll be back soon and let you know." He started toward the door and she pulled on his arm.

"Oooooh no Mr. Carson! What is going on?"

He returned to her, took her face in his hands again, his countenance growing more serious. "My darling? Do you love me?"

Elsie searched his dark eyes without words for a few seconds. "….with all my heart."

"Do you trust me?"

"…..with my life." she responded, her voice barely above a whisper.

He kissed her passionately to convey his sincerity and it's all she needed. "I'll return soon."

* * *

"BOO!" Cora comes up behind Robert who is sitting at his desk in the library. He jumps and laughs when he sees it is her.

"You little sneak! I'm glad you're here darling!" He stands and takes her hands in his. "Carson will be here any minute and I would like for you to stay with me while I deliver our announcement to him!"

"Are you sure? I would be delighted to!"

He brings her to him and playfully squeezes her bottom while burying his face in her neck. "Mmmm...you smell good enough to eat! And yes! I'm vey sure!"

Carson stands back, at the entrance to the library, admiring the play his employers are engaged in. He waits for them to separate then clears his throat in announcement of his entering.

"Oh Carson! Come in," Lord Grantham motions for him to join them.

"Oh milady, I didn't realize you would be here too?!" Carson stands at attention to both of them.

"Carson I hope you are ok discussing this matter with her lady ship. I asked her to stay. I know she spoke with you yesterday."

"Of course," he nods, his hands tightly behind his back.

"Won't you sit Carson?" Cora sits and offers the seat across from her.

Robert sits beside Cora and gestures as well for Carson to sit.

As uncomfortable as he feels, Carson seats himself on the edge of the settee.

Robert takes Cora's hand in his. "Carson we want to let you know how very much we want to help you and Mrs. Hughes." He didn't hesitate. "I will admit it makes me anxious to let both of you go at the same time but after consideration I think we can manage with the Bates' and Barrow."

Cora nods with a smile. "We also want you to know that we are prepared to get Mrs. Hughes the best care that is available. I've sent a telegram to my mother, she can help us. Carson there is advanced studies and treatment being done in America for breast cancer."

Carson is struggling to keep up. He can't believe what he is hearing.

"We will send both of you to America. You will stay with Lady Grantham's mother while there." Robert continues.

"I...My...I" Carson stutters.

"Dearest Carson...please don't worry about a thing. We want Mrs. Hughes to feel comfortable and my mother will do that for her...for you." She smiles sweetly.

"Now Carson, do you think Mrs. Hughes will agree to go to America?"

"Carson leans forward and rubs his brow, "I...I'm not quite sure." He shakes his head slightly. "This is a lot..."

"Carson, old chap.." Robert sits up on the edge of his seat. "Yours and Mrs. Hughes devotion to us...to our family is paramount. You're the stabilizers in this house, the reason we function at optimal pace and the least we can do is help in your time of need. Mrs. Hughes would never be able to pay for this type of medical care, neither would you." He looks at Cora and smiles. "Carson...you told me you loved Mrs. Hughes." He pauses and looks pointedly at Carson.

"Yes Milord. I did. And I couldn't be any more sure of that one thing." He took a deep breath in and his chest swelled a bit with pride and confidence.

"Then Carson, you must do this for her, for both of you." Cora continued.

"We will manage here. You should begin to prepare the staff right away for your departure. Of course it will take some time for the arrangements to be solid. I want Bates to take over as Head Butler and Barrow to continue as Under and take on duties that Bates cannot perform." Robert has gone into manager mode. He stands and paces in front of the fireplace. "Mrs. Hughes can get Anna prepared to step into her position while she is...away. Barrow and one of the house maids can do nightly duties since Anna and Bates will leave each evening."

Carson's head is still spinning. "But...Milord what about your valet? Who will manage…."

Robert shakes his hand. "Bates can continue. We will all have to pull in tight and make due. I trust Bates completely with invoicing and wine selection. I will step in and help him with that if need be."

Carson tried to think, to sort some of this out in his head. He was elated and stunned for their support yet anxious and nervous about how Elsie would react. She had never been as fond of them as was.

The worried look on his face brings Cora to his side. "Carson, may I ask something personal?"

Carson swallowed hard. "I…I suppose."

"Do you plan to marry?"

"Uh…of course, yes. I….uh…we…yes…yes…we do."

"Soon?"

"Cora!" Robert chastised.

"It's just…if you plan to…it might be easier, traveling, as husband and wife."

_'What a smart woman you are.'_ Robert thought to himself. He was ready to pull her off of Carson but he thought about how much easier things would be, indeed. "Yes Carson, she is right. We will work out details of your marriage arrangements once you are back. Just promise me you won't leave me!" Robert chuckled and pointed to Carson.

Carson managed a smile. "No plans of that now Milord. I would, however, like to make Elsie…uh…Mrs. Hughes my wife as soon as possible." His heart began to beat in his chest at the prospect of Elsie being his wife soon. The thought of being with her…in every way…" he shook the thoughts from his mind. He most certainly could not go there right now.

"Well then it's settled. We have a wedding to plan!" Cora stood.

Carson stood as well and held his hand up. "Small…we want something small and unassuming. At our age, we aren't trying to impress anyone."

Robert chuckled again. "Understood my dear boy!" He walks and extends his hand to Carson. "I need you Carson. I can't afford to let you go completely, you're too valuable here but I'm delighted for you to have a wife and live out your days as a married man. To hell with tradition!" He clapped him on the shoulder.

"Thank you Milord. I have no plans of leaving Downton, neither does Mrs. Hughes. If we can get her well…" he lowers his head and pauses, bringing his hand to his mouth to clear his throat.

Robert and Cora both glance at once another, remembering the purpose of all of this. "We are praying Carson that the tests are clear and cancer is not what Mrs. Hughes is dealing with. Going to America will speed everything up and if…IF….it is cancer, she will be weeks ahead in treatment than she would if she stayed here." Cora has taken Carson's hand in hers.

He nods and blinks back tears. "Thank you Milady…Milord. I can't thank you enough."

"Our pleasure Carson. Let us know what you need and we'll be in touch as soon as we have heard from Mrs. Levinson."

* * *

Carson walks slowly down the stairs, trying to process everything. He decides to go to Bates and Anna first. Pulling them into his pantry he explains the proposal and what is going on. They readily agree to do everything to help and take on their positions as long as need be. Anna agrees to help start wedding preparations and talk to the Vicar.

He sits quietly at his desk, thinking, pondering. His head was aching a little and he was apprehensive about telling Elsie everything. She had no idea he had spoken with Lord and Lady Grantham and he feared it would upset her that they knew so much. He considered his words and what he would say exactly. He wanted to approach with the details that would appeal to her and he thought that would be they would be married sooner rather than later. He had no idea how she would feel about going to America. He...was terrified.

Carson looked at his pocket watch, he had an hour before luncheon. If she could get a away for a bit, he would take a stroll with her, in the gardens, and bring her up to date...on their future. His palms were sweaty and he was nervous. He wished he could be confident, like Elsie. She exuded so much confidence, rarely showed vulnerability. Her vulnerability was never weakness, it was true need for something she usually had denied herself too long and Charles had to step in and force her to give in. He took a long breath in and walked from his pantry to find her.

She was standing on a step stool trying to reach something when he walked into the cupboard. "Let me," he rumbled in a low, soft tone. He reached around her, his shoulder brushing lightly against her breast . She faltered a bit on her feet and wrapped her arm around his neck for support. He handed her the jar and wrapped his arm around her waist lifting her off the stool with ease. Elsie kept her arm wrapped around his neck as he lowered her to the floor. Their eyes locked and they kissed tenderly. They couldn't resist. It was like every time their eyes met, the passion and love came rushing in and they were helpless to stop it. She brushed a piece of hair, that had fallen from its neat confines, away from his forehead. His loins stirred and he pulled her against him and kissed her hard.

"Mmmm...Mr. Carson, we have to stop meeting like this," she purred.

"Actually...no we don't." his voice was smooth and sensual. He held his forehead against hers. "Take a walk with me."

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

I so appreciate your comments and encouragement. It's been a bit laborious since returning from Tennessee this past weekend. I just don't know WHAT is going to happen. It seems when I THINK of how things will go, I start writing and the dialogue and story just go in its own direction! I know it's dragging a bit, getting into lots of details, and I'm going to try to work on that in the forthcoming chapters. So please stay with me and continue to let me know your hopes for the story.

* * *

"WAIT!" Carson stopped just shy of the door. "Forgive me love, I need to get something. Wait here. I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail." He hurried away leaving her to wonder what he was up to.

"Oh! Okay. I'll meet you outside then." She laughed and stepped into the cool morning air.

Carson rummaged through the small chest of drawers in his room and breathed a sigh of happiness when his hands found it. A smile pushes the corners of his mouth up and he opens the small velvet box. _'You would love her mother_.' He remembers his dear mother and one of the only material things she cherished; a small but beautiful ring his father had given her late in life. Charles had envisioned this band resting on Elsie's finger for years. He knew it wasn't extravagant or showy and he would get her a proper wedding band, if she wanted it, when he had more time. He left the servant's quarters and bounded down the stairs, praying she would feel about this ring like he does.

"Ah! There you are!" Elsie turns when she hears the heavy door click shut behind her.

Charles holds his arm up for her to take it and he covers her hand with his other. They walk for a while just enjoying the slight breeze and the beautiful spring flowers.

Elsie knows he has news and she is anxious to know but doesn't push. She knows he will tell her when he is ready. She lays her head on his shoulder several times and squeezes his arm toward her body.

They reach the west rose garden and Charles places his hand on her back and leads her to a stone bench. "Let's sit a moment."

She obeys and watches his eyes as he sits beside her.

"Ok Charles Carson. I think you've left me in suspense long enough."

"Huh? Charles feigns confusion.

Elsie sits on the stone bench just off of the garden path and before she knows what is happening Charles is down on one knee in front of her. "Charles!" she gasps.

"Elsie Hughes?" He takes her hand in his. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember. You were the first woman that walked into Downton that captured my heart...and the last."

Tears have already started pooling in both of their eyes as he continues.

"I don't have much and I can't give you much but I can promise you my undying love for the rest of our days. He reaches into his suit pocket and pulls the small green velvet box up.

Elsie covers her mouth with her hand, the tears escape their boundaries. "Oh Charles..."

"Would you do me the honor...and become my wife?" he opens the box to reveal a white gold and diamond daisy ring with 9 tiny cluster diamonds surrounding one center cut diamond. It was the only thing his father ever gave his mother that had any monetary value. She had cherished it and so did he after her passing.

Elsie was overwhelmed with surprise. Her hands were shaking slightly as she touched the beautiful ring. "Oh...it's beautiful."

"Well? Charles shifts his position on his knee. "What say you, Elsie Hughes?"

"Of course you sweet man! Now get up!" She helps him up and she pulls him to her. "Oh Charles...I'm so..." she cries and throws her arms around him. "YES YES YES! I will marry you." She kisses his neck, his cheek, and chin, touches his lips with her fingers and looks into his brown, smiling eyes. "Oh Charles. You amaze me."

"I do?" His half smile melts her heart. "I just want you to be happy my love." He takes the ring from its holder and places it on her ring finger. It fits perfectly.

She admires it, holding her hand flat out in front of her. The diamonds sparkle in the late morning sun. "Oh..." she sighs. "Tell me about it."

They both return to the stone bench. "Well it was my mother's ring. My father gave that to her late in her life. You see, he never had the money to buy her a proper wedding ring when they married but he promised that he would buy her one...he finally did." Charles was wistful thinking about his mother.

Elsie noticed. "How long have you had it?" She reaches to smooth a stray strand of his silver hair away from his forehead.

"Oh close to 20 years I guess. I've dreamed of this moment for a long time, Elsie. It makes me proud that you will take it as your own and wear it. My mother would've loved you." He leans in and they kiss tenderly.

"I love it. I will cherish it always." She holds her hand out again to admire it. Her heart could not be any fuller.

"There's more my dear." Charles hated to break this glorious moment but he knew they hadn't much time and he needed to make her aware of the plans being made.

"As you know, I've spoken with Lord and Lady Grantham. Elsie, please forgive me if I was wrong to do this but I told them about...your...illness...the _possibility_ of you...being...ill." He could smack himself for sounding so doltish.

"What?" She questions.

"Now...I told his Lordship because, Elsie, I want to marry you soon. I want to take you as my wife and I want to be with you during this ordeal. I want to get you the very best treatment there is and I want to be by your side..." he stands and starts to pace the few feet in front of her. "I didn't want to upset you but I felt I must talk to his Lordship first so he would..."

"Charles?"

"I needed him to know how I felt so he could possibly understand why I needed to leave Downton and be with you..."

"Charles?"

"He told her ladyship and she came to see me yesterday morning, I had no intentions of telling anyone else until..."

Elsie stands and grabs his hands. "CHARLES!"

He stops his frantic tone and pacing and stares quietly at her. He turns his head to the side and releases the tension in his shoulders.

She smiles sweetly at him. "It's okay..."

"Wh...What?"

"It's okay. I spoke with her ladyship this morning while you were serving breakfast.

"What?"

Elsie chuckles. "Yes dear. I know you told them about the….the _possibility_ of cancer." She emphasizes. "I was actually quite moved by her ladyship's pledge to ensure I'm well cared for."

"You know they aren't as bad as you imagine."

"I don't think they are bad. I just never thought they cared so much."

"Well they do care Elsie. They care so much that they have made me…and you…a jolting offer." Charles takes her arm and leads her out of the garden, checking his pocket watch for time. "Let's start our walk back…luncheon."

"What is it?"

"They want you to go to America for treatment." He pauses.

Elsie stops dead in her tracks. "WHAT?!"

Charles winces a bit and turns to face her. "Yes. Her ladyship has already telegrammed Mrs. Levinson and says there is advanced treatment for….this…type of cancer in America."

"We cannot afford that Charles! And I…."

"They want to pay for it Elsie."

Elsie stands still, her face drained of all emotions. She finally brings her arms tightly around her waist. A defensive and closed stance, Charles takes note.

"Elsie?" He rubs his gentle hands down her upper arms. "I know you're scared. I know this is a lot. I don't know what to say. I…I…can't imagine going to America. I've never…even thought about it. It makes me a bit nervous but…when I think about…" he lowers his eyes and tone. "When I think about you and what you could possibly go through….my fears now pale in comparison to the fear of you…not being here."

Tears start again and Elsie wonders if she'll cry for the rest of her life.

"I will do whatever it takes to make sure you have the best care that is available."

"But I'm not worthy of that. I don't live a hifalutin life. I'm not royalty or high bred."

"Now stop that talk right now Elsie Hughes! You have been offered the opportunity to get the care you ARE worthy of! Don't pass this up….please my love." Charles' brown eyes plead with her.

"But what if we go there and it turns out it's nothing!" She argues.

He laughs out of sheer astonishment. "Then I can't imagine anything better!" He smiles and leans in to kiss her.

"Please say you'll go. Give us this chance to make sure you are well and to get well. I beg of you."

"Who pray tell will see after the house?"

"That was largely what my meeting was with his lordship. He feels Bates can take over my position and continue his duties as Valet and Anna can take over your position."

"Bates cannot do a dinner service?"

"Yes but his Lordship thinks Thomas will be just fine for the instances where Bates cannot perform those duties. Hopefully, it will only be for a few weeks and we will back good as new….husband and wife." He grins.

She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, leaning into his chest. Charles holds her, rubbing her back. "Please darling…"

"I'm not used to be taken care of Mr. Carson."

He smiled into her hair, knowing her choice to call him by his proper name meant she was being light hearted. "It's time my love. You deserve it and I want to be there every step of the way." He kisses the top of her head.

She pulls away and her watery eyes search his. "When?"

"As soon as details are worked out. Her ladyship will let us know." There was one more thing he had to ensure before they went back to the house. "Elsie. I want to marry you."

"Haven't we covered that?" She teased.

"Friday."

"This Friday?" She cried.

Charles only nodded.

"Charles! How can I possibly…."

"You can! We can do it! I've talked to Anna. She is ready to help and so is her ladyship."

"Oh! I've become a real celebrity!" she rolls her eyes.

"You're just loved my dear!" He pulls out his pocket watch. "OH! I have to get back for luncheon. Please think on these things this afternoon and we will meet after dinner." He takes her hand in his, laces their fingers together and pulls her gently along with him.

TBC….


	9. Chapter 9

A little shorty but I gotta get in bed! Wedding tomorrow I promise!

* * *

Chapter 9

The week went by quickly; the servant's hall was abuzz with talk of the Butler and the House Keeper of Downton getting married. For the most part everyone was happy for them. Thomas, of course, lashed out with rude and inappropriate jabs. But deep down he was mostly jealous and sad, so his behavior was a cover for all that he pushed back and refused to deal with.

Anna and Mrs. Patmore worked together on a wedding reception and they all three traveled to Ripon to help Elsie find a dress, suitable for a bride. Charles worked with Bates and Jimmy and the other 2nd footmen to prepare the house for a temporary changing of the guard. He chose to let Bates fill Thomas in on what his duties would be. He didn't have the patience or tolerance for him right now. Carson secured a time with the Vicar of Downton to actually marry his beloved and was well on his way to being a married man.

Charles and Elsie had found pockets of time to steal away with each other; not nearly enough for either of them but there was so much to be done. Elsie was tired, he could tell and he just prayed for Friday to come quickly. He was nervous and elated. There was a pensiveness within him but he was determined to steady his nerves when he was with her as he wanted nothing more than to be everything she needed right now.

* * *

It was Thursday morning and Charles took to his pantry early. There were many last minutes things to approve, sign off on and be done with. It was his half day and his plan was to leave the castle in the afternoon and stay in the village overnight. He knew Elsie would be well cared for and he couldn't see her anyhow. He was startled a bit at the footsteps coming down the stairs. It was well too early for anyone to be up but he quickly knew who that cadence belonged to. When she appeared in the door way she looked pale and weak. He jumped immediately from his chair and went to her.

"Elsie my darling, what is it?" He held her.

"Oh…I'm fine. Just weary." She pats his arm and moves to the soft arm chair near his desk. "Don't let me keep you from your duties. I know you're trying to get a lot done so you can have your half day." She sits and leans her head back and closes her eyes.

Charles slowly moves back to his desk, concerned for her. He watches her for a long while. "Are you sure you're okay? Did you sleep?"

"Not much." She sighed with her eyes still closed.

"Elsie, I know it's been a busy week but I want you to slow down today. I don't want you doing too…."

She opens one eye and gives him a sly grin. "Oh shush! I'm getting married tomorrow to one handsome lad. I have a lot to do to get ready for him!"

He smiles wide. "What a coincidence. I'm getting married tomorrow as well to the most beautiful lass you've ever seen!"

They both sit in the warm silence for a long moment. "Are you happy?" he questions quietly. "Is this what you truly want?"

She gets up and goes to him and sits in his lap, wrapping one arm around his shoulder. "If I have made you doubt that at all this week, please forgive me." Her blue orbs search his eyes. "Do you forget how long we've waited for this moment? Unless death takes me, I wouldn't change this for anything in the world. I want to be Mrs. Charles Carson…and the sooner the better." She leaned down and kissed him whole heartedly on the mouth.

He responded in kind and soon they were kissing and fumbling and gasping for air and tugging, kneading at each other. The clothes were frustrating and too much and Charles was sweating and his hair was tousled from her hands running through it over and over. Their lips were swollen with heat and love and whispers of passion.

"Oh God Elsie!" Charles lifted her to the desk, her legs wrapped around his back, he buried his face at her exposed flesh where he had unbuttoned her dress in the back just enough to pull it down below her upper arms. Her shift falling away from her shoulder, Carson nipped gently at her shoulder, placed kisses across her collar bone, leaving a trail of fire where his lips once was.

Elsie's skirts had risen up above her thighs, his body, heavily nestled between them, his hands wandering under her skirts, as far back as he would let himself go. "Cha….Charles….love…." she gasped into his neck after each pet of her lips. "We should…." She threw her head back in overwhelming pleasure. "Oh…."

The sound of bounding footsteps, several of them, on the stairs jolted them quickly back to reality. She kissed him and smiled, knowing how hard it was each time to pull away. "It won't be long." She cooed.

He hurriedly straightened his waistcoat and smoothed his hair back then kissed her back. "Oh…I cannot wait….to make love to you." He growled. He offered his hand and she jumped from his desk and turned to him to let him button her back up. "Now remember….you take it easy today. Let Anna do things…she needs to get in the habit."

Elsie smiled as she opened his door. "I will. Let me see you before you go this afternoon." She puckered her lips and blew him a kiss into the air and he reached out as if to catch it.

TBC….WEDDING DAY! WOOT!


	10. Chapter 10

I'm sorry I'm late! I know I promised a wedding story last night and I had it written...my internet was down and I could not upload it! Boo! So here it is and I hope to have wedding night completed tonight.

A bit about writing true to the times. I understand that Robert and Cora being so supportive and loving toward their servants was rare in the days of those grand houses and their servants. BUT in all my research(I'm a stickler for getting it right and do a lot of research) I have read that there were SOME..not many accounts...but some "masters" who treated their servants exactly the way the Crawley's have treated their service staff. I like to think, as English as JF is, he probably has heard and read some of those accounts and that is why he has written the story this way. I'm believing that if Lord and Lady Grantham were real, they would have treated their servants in the very same manner.

**Chapter 10**

"I need that ring, my love." Charles smiled and held his hand out to his soon to be bride. His bags were packed and he was headed to the Grantham Arms to spend the night. It was late afternoon and while he would rather spend the evening in her company, he knew that would come soon and tonight he would sleep, knowing tomorrow, Elsie Hughes would be his...forever.

Elsie gently pulled the special ring from her finger and looked at it lovingly. "Take good care of it." She gave him a doleful look and placed it into his palm and folded her hands around it.

"Do you realize this time tomorrow, our lives will be vastly different?!" Charles questioned softly.

She laced her fingers between his and lays her head on his shoulder. "It's like a dream." She says. They start to walk toward the back door, he carrying his bag in one hand. He starts to put it down but she stops him. "No...I'd like to walk a little ways with you."

He nods and smiles and pulls her along with him as they ascend the few stairs to the door and into the sunlight. The afternoon shadows from the giant trees cast long shadows across the lawn and they both take in the air like it is essential.

"It's nice..." Elsie says. She feels like she is seeing him off on a long journey and her heart is melancholy. There are no words to explain how happy she is...has been this last week yet there is a pending dread inside and she knows why. The closer she and Charles became, the more fearful she was of her health and her future. She had laid awake nearly every night, crying, praying, considering that he is going to such great lengths to make her happy, to secure a future with her, and what if...there was to be no future. The thought crosses her mind now and she cannot stop the tears from rushing forward, mainly because she was exhausted and anxious and had become powerless over her emotions of late.

Charles turns to face her and tilts his head with a look of empathy. "My sweet Elsie." He enfolds her in his arms. "Your tears make me afraid to leave you."

"Oh this crying thing has become old hat with me, apparently it's what I do now!" She chuckled and wrapped her arm around his waist and nudged him forward toward his destination. She fought back those horrid thoughts and silently vowed to be strong for them.

They walked as far as the fork in the graveled that leads toward the village. They make small talk about the ceremony and the staff that will be there. Her Ladyship and Lady Mary had informed him that arrangements had been made for them in London and they needn't worry about a thing. Carson was particularly glad when he learned they would have 2 days and nights off and everything had been planned for their short honeymoon. It wasn't easy planning anything further than the village when you were in service so he was grateful for their thoughtfulness.

"I will miss you tonight." Charles lowers his bag to the ground and envelops her in his arms. He squeezes her tight and kisses her hair. "But I will see you at ten o'clock, at the church. I'll be the handsome guy down front."

She pulls back and looks at him. "I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world." She smiles and reaches up to kiss him longingly. She runs her slender finger over his bottom lip and deepens the kiss, her tongue finding his.

They part and just look at one another for the longest moment. "I love you Elsie Hughes." Charles' voice was deep and soft and it made her stomach flip with sheer desire for him.

"I love you Charles Carson." She answers.

She watched him walk until she could no longer see him, her handsome, soon to be husband. She smiled with tears in her eyes watching that slow saunter, his derby hat slightly to one side. _"He's mine."_ she thought as she turned back and bit her bottom lip trying to stifle the joy welling up inside her.

* * *

"Now Mrs. Hughes, I will be here no later than 7. I will go over the invoicing with you and then we'll start to get ready. I have to add the buttons tonight but that won't take long." Anna goes over last details in Elsie's sitting room.

"Okay and you know we plan to leave from the village to catch the train to London by noon." Elsie thought they were going to London after their wedding, Charles had been secretive about his plan to take her back to Scotland.

"Yes, Mr. Bates told me that plan. He and His Lordship are going to have a drink with Mr. Carson at the Grantham Arms after dinner. I'll deal with the maids after dinner service. You go ahead and rest. Take your supper now, there's no need for you here."

Elsie sighs heavily. "Oh Anna, can you believe this?! ME! Getting MARRIED!" she laughs.

"I really can't believe this is truly happening and so quickly Mrs. Hughes, but I can't think of anyone who deserves it more than you and Mr. Carson." She smiles sweetly. "Do you have everything packed for Sc….?" Anna silently chastised herself for nearly slipping. "…for London. Thankfully Elsie was none the wiser.

"I think so. Anna, you've been such a great help to me. I can't thank you enough." She stands and brings her most beloved employee to her. "You truly are a blessing."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes." Anna hugs her back. "Now go. I'll take care of everything and I'll see you here first thing in the morning."

* * *

Beryl and Elsie sit at the large wooden table in the servant's hall and Elsie barely nibbles at a plate of food. Beryl talks a mile a minute and Elsie is grateful for it. She loved Beryl's ability to always make her laugh. They talked about the whirlwind week and what it might be like when the newlyweds return as well as the pending trip to America; a topic that Elsie would just soon forget.

Soon Elsie hugged her friend and thanked her for the small reception they had last evening with just the staff. Charles and Elsie decided it best to catch the noon train to London after their nuptials rather than returning to Downton to celebrate. They only had a short time alone and they wanted to make the most of it.

"Carson, here's to a wonderful new chapter in your life!" Lord Grantham raises his glass in the air and clinks his glass with Carson and then Bates.

"Here here!" Bates resounds.

"Thank you Milord. I certainly could never repair you for your kindness." Carson gestures toward Lord Grantham with his glass of scotch.

"We should head back Bates; we don't want to get Carson drunk on the eve of his wedding!" Robert chuckles and downs the rest of his scotch as does Bates. "Until tomorrow ol chap! Sleep well!" The trio stood and claps one another on the shoulders and bid each other adieu for the night.

Charles retires to his room, undresses and lies atop the blankets, the scotch had warmed his body sufficiently and he didn't need a blanket. He bent his arms behind his head and closed his eyes, thinking of the only thing he wanted…._her_.

* * *

Elsie stood, naked, in front of the full length mirror in her room. She smoothed her hands over her full breasts and stops abruptly when she feels the source of all her angst. It wasn't sore, it wasn't feverish, it didn't affect her….except it was the most omnipotent thing to ever rule over her. She cursed it under her breath and prayed to God to take it away. She turned and observed her figure from the side and wondered if Charles would think she was beautiful…_really._ He said she was beautiful but she wondered how he would feel to see her…this way. These thoughts plagued her mind, not just this week, but for many years. In her fantasies of them he adored her body, her breasts, her high waist and strong calves. Years of stairs and hard labor had kept her body amazingly toned and firm, even at nearly 60 years old.

She pulled a peach colored, silk, envelope chemise from a box she kept in the top of her closet and held it up to her. She smiled for she knew what this would do to Charles. She ordered this chemise from a mail order catalog from Paris, almost 2 years ago. It was a time when her desire was so heavy and overwhelming for him that she was certain she would have to tell him how she felt. She had gone through seasons of wanting him so badly, the nightly meetings in her sitting room, the one too many glasses of wine on evenings they were fed up and exhausted. She was sure there would come a day when she would break and blurt out all of her lustful passion and desire to have him so she ordered the slip and after getting it, she was filled with shame and put it away. It was delicate and nearly sheer with fine lace and ribbon lining the open neck line and the bottom hem. She tried it on and it made her feel desirable and that is exactly what she needed right now.

* * *

The church began to fill up with the family and most of the staff. Everyone was happy and smiling as it felt like a new day was dawning. The Butler and the Housekeeper, marrying and retaining their position in such a grand house was unheard of yet the Crawley women were eternally grateful for Robert's position on this. "Oh Robert, it's lovely isn't it?"

Robert looked around the church, the flowers were simple and a few candles lit the altar and yet he did consider it lovely. He patted Cora's hand that was wrapped around his upper arm. "It is darling."

"I'm so happy for them…I just pray that Mrs. Hughes is okay." Cora's voice was laced with deep concern.

"I know sweetheart but today we won't think on those things. We will remain hopeful and joyful." They jerked to attention as the organ began to play.

Carson was in his place at the altar. He checked his pocket again for the ring and closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. His bride would be walking down the aisle any minute and he would be married to the woman he had dreamed about for the better part of 20 years.

The church stood as Elsie entered the back of the tiny church. There was a collective gasp throughout the room, many tear filled eyes. Elsie wasn't nervous but proud to be standing here, in this moment; a moment she never thought would come. Her eyes were locked on Charles as he turned.

His mouth stood agape as she slowly proceeded down the aisle. Her dress was a beautiful yet simple lace and silk gown with bead and lace work at the back and neck. Anna had down exquisite work on it and she had put Elsie's hair up in pin curls and a lovely silver clip holding a veil in front of her face.

Charles thought his heart might stop. He had never seen a more breathtaking sight. His heart was bursting with pride and the biggest smile anyone had ever witnessed from the staunch and resolute butler, spread across his face. It was as if the world had been locked out of this moment and it was just Charles and Elsie.

The vows were short and sweet yet fraught with emotion and meaning. He placed his mother's ring on her finger once again. Tears escaped down both of their cheeks All of the Crawley girls were crying and most of the women staff members. Lord Grantham smiled and squeezed Cora's hand in his. Charles had written some of his thoughts on paper the night before but he felt they were far too personal for him to share with those who congregated with them. He would share those after they were in London with his beloved bride.

"You may kiss your bride." The Vicar announced.

Charles slowly moved the veil away and her eyes were shimmering blue lakes. They had kissed a lot in this last week but this kiss…this kiss sealed the deal. It signaled the end of years of wanting and waiting. It had finally come to pass and Charles and Elsie turned to the congregation as husband and wife.

TBC…Wedding night tomorrow…Tonight! YEEHAW!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

******The Wedding Night**

"Oh Mrs. Hughes, you look absolutely stunning!" Cora takes Elsie's hands and smiles genuinely.

"Thank you Her Ladyship. Thank you ever so much for all you've done." Elsie leaned in a little closer. "And thank you for the book." She whispered then gave her an upward glance.

Cora grinned and raised her shoulders a bit. "You're so welcome." She leaned into Elsie's ear. "Reading it…I think has been the single most important thing I've done for my marriage."

The pair smiled and squeezed hands to convey their support. Elsie found it strange and delightful, this unexpected friendship she seemed to have struck up with the lady of the house.

The steps leading into the church were covered with rose petals and the air was filled with laughter and fond sentiments.

Robert shook hands with his Butler and clapped him on the back. As Charles pulled Elsie along and nodded to the other staff as they cheered them away. "Come dear or we'll miss our train!"

Anna took John's hand and gave it a squeeze. "So beautiful," she said with tears brimming in her eyes.

John leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Yes…it is and so are you."

* * *

The newlyweds made it just as the passengers were boarding. Charles knew they would be running it close but he insisted they go early. He had no desire to hang around Downton village any longer than he had to.

They were delighted to be seated in 1st class accommodations, feeling loved and a little high end. It made them both laugh. "Ah! This is living isn't it Mrs. Carson?!" Charles pulled his jacket off and laid it carefully in the seat across from them. He sat beside her then leaned over, kissing her tenderly. They were giddy with love and anticipation and had largely only stared into each other's eyes on the drive to the train station, stealing a short kiss when they could.

"Mrs. Carson." Elsie repeats softly through a broad smile. "I like the way that sounds." She wrapped her hand around his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder. Soon the conductor signals the leaving of the train and they lunge forward to London.

Charles lovingly caressed Elsie's arm and kissed her ever so often. They talked about the ceremony and things that were said; the sheer unbelief that they were married and headed to London for their honeymoon. Every time one of them would point that out, they would begin to laugh. They discussed dinner plans and Charles looked at the information Lady Mary and Lady Cora had given him. They had dinner reservations that evening at the hotel. Charles was taken aback at the accommodations that were made for them. The most luxurious hotel in all of London, The Savoy, was where he and Elsie would spend their wedding night.

They arrived in London at just past three o'clock. They took a cab to The Savoy and checked in. Charles' chest swelled with pride to have his wife on his arm and checking into the finest hotel in London. Elsie tried not to gawk at the beauty of the place. She thought how it made her feel like someone else and she _was_ someone she had never been; Mrs. Charles Carson. She held on to his arm as they walked through the lobby and followed the concierge to their room. Both of their mouths hung open when the concierge opened the door. They glanced at one another then stepped inside.

"Will that be all Sir?" The young man stood at attention.

"Uh…yes..I believe so…thank you…" Charles handed the man a tip and nodded. Once he was gone Charles ran and swept Elsie off her feet.

She let out a surprised squeal. "CHARLES!"

"Oh my love I've never been happier than I am right now." He spun her around, kissing her with passion before setting her down on wobbly feet. He laughed and held her steady then pulled her into his arms and twirled her around like they were next door at the Savoy Ballroom. He hummed and waggled his eye brows at her; his dark brown eyes gleamed with absolute rapture.

Elsie leaned back in his arms and laughed like she had never laughed. She joined his dance, their dance. They didn't need music for they had been making their own for quite some time; they just needed to find their rhythm to make it come alive.

* * *

Charles knew Elsie was tired. While she was having the time of her life, he could tell, she was exhausted. He wanted everything to be perfect and he didn't want to rush into what they both knew was going to happen. They had spent some time talking about it. He was grateful Elsie was a woman that knew her body and was confident. She wasn't prude or afraid to discuss how she felt and her anticipation of love making with him. Her self-assurance had eased his anxieties about this long awaited event. He was anxious but he would not rush her. He could restrain himself as long as she needed.

"Do you need a rest my dear? We have plenty of time before our dinner reservations." Charles asked.

She was exhausted and she knew if she took the opportunity to rest now, later would prove to be more comfortable. "You know I think I will. I hope that is okay with you."

Charles moved to help her from her chair and walked her to the stunning art deco bed. "I want you to, love. I can see you're tired and I don't want you to overdo it." They reach the bed and he leans down to turn down the fine bedding. "Why don't you get comfortable?" He suggests. "I'll leave the room and you can…get…comfortable." He starts to go and Elsie grabs his arm quickly. "No…" she turns her back to him. "I'll need some help you silly man!"

"Oh yes…forgive me." he takes very good care to unbutton the hand sewn buttons from her dress.

"And Charles, you're my husband now, you don't have to leave the room…ever," she coos. Once he has finished she turns to him and slowly pulls the sleeves of her dress down, exposing her shift and corset.

Charles swallows hard and glances down. Elsie pulls his gaze up with a finger under his chin and smiles seductively. "I know you must be exhausted too. Won't you join me?"

His brow furrowed he opens his mouth to speak but in the last 10 seconds his tongue has completely gone dry. "Uh….I…" he squeaks out. "Maybe I'll go and check out the hotel while you take a nap." He needed to go. He couldn't get in this bed beside her and keep his wits about him.

Elsie leaned up to kiss him. "Okay sweetheart. I understand." She had ahold of his hand and laced her fingers with his. "Tonight….I promise."

"Elsie I don't want you to rush. This week has been replete with so many things, so many firsts. I want you…more than I've ever wanted another woman. But I want you to be happy and feel loved and cared for above all. I don't need…" he lowered his eyes and found her gaze. "I don't need to make love to you to prove anything or to love you with my whole heart." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and gave her that lop-sided smile that literally made her lose her breath.

"Oh Charles I want you too. I want all of you, to be one with you. You are so considerate and dear to recognize what I need when I need it." She brings his hand to her lips. "Tonight will be worth it love."

TBC….so so so much research tonight. It's 1 am and I've got to get up for work. The bow chicka wow wow…NEXT CHAPTER! Thank you all AGAIN for spurring me on with your thoughts and encouragements!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Wedding Night Cont'd.**

Elsie took the small hard back book out that Lady Grantham had left in her sitting room earlier in the week. "Married Love." She was shocked and thought it awkward to find the book and the hand written note inside. 'Dearest Mrs. Hughes. I hope you will find this book enlightening as you start this new journey into marriage. It has opened my eyes to a new world." Lady Grantham. But after reading most of the book she was grateful for it. It too had opened her eyes to this new era of women and marriage and sexuality. She had always considered herself more of a feminist but had enough age on her to know sensibility. Elsie was a woman who knew her body and what she wanted and she never let hype or propaganda stand in the way.

* * *

Charles picked up a bottle of perfume and brought it to his nose. His bushy eyebrows went up slightly and he squinted to read the small writing on the bottle. It was a new perfume, Tabac Blond by Caron. That meant absolutely nothing to him but it smelled nice.

"May I show you something sir?" the gift shop manager inquired to Charles.

"Uh yes..I think I would like to buy this for my wife." Charles said with confidence.

"Certainly sir. Would you like me to wrap it for her?"

"I think that would be nice, yes."

The cost was more than anything he had ever purchased and he didn't care. He had saved his money wisely and he wanted Elsie to feel as beautiful and special as she was.

Charles spent an hour or so walking around the grand hotel. He glanced in at the 2 restaurants and decided he would like to take his wife to the River Restaurant. The views were spectacular of the Thames. He soon returned to the room to find Elsie reading in bed. His heart skipped a beat. This was his new life. He was married and his wife was sitting in bed, in her undergarments, reading. He smiled and thanked God for this new life. He took his jacket and waistcoat off and joined her, crawling across the large bed to reach her.

* * *

"Ah my dear!" He kisses her tenderly and turns to his back and lies his head in her lap. "Besides you, sitting here in your shift and knickers, this hotel is the most exquisite thing I've ever seen."

She puts her book down and starts running her fingers through his hair. It was somewhat disheveled and she loved it that way. "I can imagine." She traces the lines in his forehead, admiring how handsome he really was.

"I checked out the restaurant for this evening and I think we should start with a cocktail in the American Bar. Seems fitting, eh?" He turned his head up so he could actually see her.

Elsie smiled and then leaned down to kiss his lips. "Whatever you want my love." She was happy that he was so happy. He had smiled, today, as much as he had smiled in the last 20 years. "I love seeing you so full of joy."

"My love it's all because of you." He pulls her down over him and they kiss longingly. Elsie moves down over him, her body resting part ways on his. Their kissing quickly turns into heavy petting. She straddles him and starts to undo his tie, unbutton his shirt. Without her encumbered garments, she feels him beneath her and it spurs her onward.

Charles breath has become labored and his hands roam freely over her thighs, her back. "Oh Elsie…" he groans when her lips touch the bare skin of his chest. He decided to let her take the lead and go as far as she wanted.

Elsie has begun to move her hips slowly up and down over his burgeoning trousers. She was losing control, she could feel him through the loose, thin, cotton of her knickers and it was driving her wild.

Charles closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in ecstasy, his breath more staggered than before. "Els….oh….baby." She leaned over to kiss his lips again. He had never called her that and it added to her growing desire for him.

She sat up and crawled off of him and off the bed abruptly. Charles' heart sank and he closed his eyes in frustration but didn't let on. He laid quietly, letting his breathing come back to normal.

Eventually he sat up on one elbow and turned his head to see her standing at the end of the bed. She was wearing nothing but her garter and hose. Her breasts were round and plump, surprisingly firm, he thought. She had pulled her hair down and the long dark tresses formed curls down her back and shoulders. She gave him a coy smile. He literally thought his heart would stop.

Charles scrambled to the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the ground and opening his legs for her to come to him. Elsie stepped between his legs and her white, creamy breasts were right at his face. "Oh God…Elsie.." His insides were shaking a bit, involuntarily, as he reached up with his hand to gently touch her. He was reluctant and careful and she sensed his inhibition. She took his hand and guided it to one breast and closed her eyes at his touch.

"Ahhh…." She moaned, her breath catching in her throat. She wrapped her hands around the back of Charles head and pulled his face toward her chest. She wanted to feel his lips on her skin. It didn't take long for him to learn and he gently squeezed her while his tongue and lips found her nipples. He kissed and sucked, paying close attention to each one as if it were a precious thing. He fondled and caressed her sides and hips.

Soon Elsie needed more and pushed him back, causing him to lie back on his elbows. She straddled him again, on the bed and began to remove his shirt completely. She ran her fingers through the soft gray hairs at his chest and leaned down to capture his nipple gently between her teeth. Charles let out a soft cry, his manhood painfully growing by the minute against his taut trousers. He couldn't resist and pulled her hips down and ground against the cotton knickers, setting off a series of groans and whimpers from both of them.

* * *

TBC….sorry! I'm teasing a bit but again it's so late and I have an early, LONG day tomorrow. I'll try to write more tomorrow! These two are KILLING me! AGH!


	13. Chapter 13

Oh ya'll! These two have kept me up at night! So…I really debated about the "smut" part. It almost didn't seem RIGHT to go so graphic so I didn't! PLEASE let me know how you feel about that..Cause I'm not afraid to go GRAPHIC! ;)

Wedding Night Cont'd

Charles gently patted Elsie's thigh to encourage her to move off of him. He felt confident enough to take the lead at this point and wanted to make sure she was ready. He knew that while love making would not define their relationship, it would certainly deepen it and he was aware that actual intercourse may not be pleasant for her, initially, he wanted to do everything he could to pleasure her right now.

* * *

_One evening, late, in his room, after a heated session of kissing and fondling each other, they talked openly about their pasts. He had admitted he was not a virgin but it had been more than 35 years since he had been with a woman. He told her of his relationship with Alice and she was secretly glad he had never been with her, in that way. He admitted his shame in having sex with a few women he hardly knew during his theatre days. _

_"I'm not proud of those days, Elsie." he had hung his head and she kissed him and told him she didn't care and it didn't define the man he was now. _

_"You are the noblest, most proper man I know and I'm proud of you." she had encouraged him._

_"What about you, love? Have you ever..." Charles paused, his heart racing, hoping she wouldn't think him rude to ask her something so intimate. "You don't have to answer that...I'm sorry to be so forward," he blurted out. _

_Elsie gave him a warm smile and patted his hand. "Do you plan on taking me as your wife?" _

_"Of course I do." he answered the confusing question with total confidence._

_"Then I want you to know me, my past, my dreams, what makes me who I am, what I want...need." Her voice was low and seductive._

_Charles felt his loins stir and he swallowed hard. "Uh...okay..." he mumbled almost incoherently and licked his lips._

_"To answer your question, have I ever...been with a man..." she took in a deep breath and lowered her head and ran her fingertips over the ring she had been wearing for 2 days...his ring. "I have..." Her voice was barely above a whisper._

_Charles was shocked but he didn't react. _

_She finally looked at him. "But not willingly. It was a very long time ago and I've come to terms with it." _

_His heart fell, his eyes dropped, he gave her a loving yet sad smile. "Oh my love. I'm so...sorry." Charles was suddenly taken by her strength and how she lived with such resolve and dignity; his love for her swelled to a great tide at that moment. "How...who...?" he questioned, now with anger brewing inside._

_She patted his knee. "It's okay. It was so long ago, Charles. I was a young girl and a boy from the next village, where we lived, had his eye on me. I didn't want him and it angered him. So...he..." _

_"How young were you?" _

_"17." _

_Charles balled his fists and tightened his jaw, angry tears building in his eyes. "What happened to the bastard? I mean...when you told..."_

_"Who said I ever told?" Elsie said blankly._

_Charles' mouth hung open for a long while before he gathered her to him in a fierce embrace. "Elsie...everything you do touches the very heart of soul of me." _

_She laughed softly in the hollow of his neck and shoulder. "Ohhh...I"m nothing special!" _

_He pulled her back. "You are to me. You're everything to me." He took her face in his hands; her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and caressed her with a passionate kiss._

* * *

"Elsie? Are you sure?" his breath was staggered and his eyes darkened with desire.

"Yes my love. I'm sure." she purred, reaching to nip at his lips.

"Okay." he sat up on his knees and leaned back on his heels then reached to unbutton his trousers. She leaned up to take over the task of relieving him of his encumbering garment. His stomach was taut and well defined. A small patch of hair trailed a line from his belly button until it disappeared into the hem of his undershorts and Elsie closed her eyes and tried to settle her nerves, her breath catching as they went further.

"Are you cold darling?" Charles inquired.

"No…" she answered, closing her eyes and willing herself to relax and let this moment happen, naturally.

"Are you nervous?" He begins to rub his hands down the length of both of her arms, to try and calm her.

She rolls her head back and sighs heavily. "I feel like….a school girl."

"Elsie we don't have to…."

"NO! I want to. I want you more than anything Charles." She opens her eyes and almost pleads with him. "I'm just a nervous. I've dreamed of this moment for so long and it's here and I want it to be perfect. I want to please you darling."

"There is no judgment here my love, no expectations. It's just you…and…me and our love for each other. There is nothing that you can do to mess this up. I'm so fully in love with you…every part of you, everything about you. You, my sweet Elsie, can do wrong in my eyes."

She blushed and smiled through tears that had rushed to their boundaries. "Make love to me." She whispers.

Charles removed his trousers and joined her again on the bed. He lay parallel to her, the soft hair at his chest, tickling the skin beside him. He had no inhibitions about pressing himself against her bare bottom. His shorts were thin and she could feel how well-endowed he was. He explored every inch of her stomach and breasts. He took her fully into his mouth and suckled then his fingers caressed over it. He stopped and stared at her breast, smoothing his finger gently over the lump just under her left nipple. Emotion rose inside him and he looked to her. Elsie stared back at him with knowing eyes. They spoke no words. He again focused his attention on the lump; he pressed his lips there and she could feel his wet tears against her skin. She squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

The exhaustion and fear this last week had brought finally catches up with Charles. He had managed to stave off the sickening fear of losing her…until now. He was powerless to control it and he buried his face in her chest and sobbed like a baby. He let her in to a place no one had ever been; to the very center of his emotions and opened the gates to what scares him the most. He silently prayed, begged God, to heal her, make her whole again. "I'm sorry Elsie…" he choked out. "I'm sorry to act like this…right now…"

"Shhh….it's okay, let it out my darling…" Elsie kissed his tousled hair and cried with him. "It's okay…I'm here and if I have anything to say about it, I'll be here for a good long while!"

* * *

The raw emotions, the pent up sexual tension and desire soon over took them again. They explored each other, without hesitation or shame. Elsie's new book had given her ideas and confidence that she may have never embraced without reading it and agreeing that all women have the right to feel sexually alive and pleasured. She believed it was her right, as a woman, to feel the same kind of satisfaction that typically was only acceptable for men. And so she allowed him complete and total permission. She urged him to push further, even though it was uncomfortable; she knew the temporary pain would soon lead to immense pleasure for both of them.

Elsie squeezed her thighs around his hips when she felt him nearing his end. He buried his face in the pillow beside her head to stifle his groans of desire as he climaxed inside her. His body jerked erratically and she wrapped her legs a little tighter. "Stay inside me" she whispered. Charles obeyed.

* * *

The air was different; their lives were different just now. Elsie lay quietly listening to her husband's respirations. Evening shadows began to dance across the room and she didn't care if they ever left. She could stay here, tangled with him, in the after-glow of their lovemaking for the rest of her life, she thought. She breathed a prayer of gratitude and hope to God and then made a promise to the man who lay across her swollen breasts, her naked body. "I'll never leave you, my sweet Charles. I'll….never…leave." she whispered with the greatest sense of resolve she had ever had.

TBC….


	14. Chapter 14

I wrote this entirely on my iPad keyboard…part of the reason it took two days. LORD..these two! This is STEAMY, very intimate and SPOON SEX!

* * *

The evening slips into night. Elsie had finally fallen asleep for awhile, nestled next to Charles who had been snoring quite contentedly since making love early in the evening.

She had left the bed to tidy the room, pick up their discarded garments. Housekeeping was indeed a part of her. She pulled his white starched shirt on and wrapped herself in it. The essence of him still lingering there. For a brief moment, that familiar yearning, wanting, came back and she closed her eyes remembering the many nights she lay awake in the loneliness of her bedroom, his scent lingering in her senses. She glanced to his sleeping form wishing he was awake. She needed him.

Elsie was contemplative for a moment and decided to see how asleep he was. She removes his shirt and slips in next to him running her fingers lightly across his belly. She kisses his back and he begins to stir. Charles turns over, facing her, giving her a sleepy smile and draping his arm over her hip. Elsie kisses him and reaches her hand down to caress his most sensitive place, leaving no question about what she wants.

"Mmmmm..." He groans and tightens his jaw. "We missed supper sweetheart."

"I don't need food." Her voice is low and throaty. She kisses him hard on the mouth, her tongue finding his. It wasn't long before he was hard and needing her as bad. Charles positioned himself behind her, his belly warm and soft, pressed to her lower back, guiding his manhood to find her opening. He entered her with much greater ease and the sensation was almost too much for her. Elsie arched her back and rested her top leg back over his hip. She covered his large hand, which was now cupping her breast, with hers and moaned with each thrust. To prolong the intense feeling Charles would halt his movement enough to slow down his impending climax, this allowed her to reach hers twice before he did.

They lay intertwined together with the sheets, damp with the labor of their love making. Elsie had cried, overcome with the emotion of becoming one with this man whom she had loved and adored for the better part of her adult life. Charles held her so tenderly understanding where her tears stemmed from. He felt it too. He nuzzled her neck and spoke such sweet, endearing, words, fraught with passion and love for her. "Vous m'accomplissez, mon tresor" he whispers against her ear.

Elsie strokes his face and a smile lights up her blue eyes. "Oh love, you are just full of surprises! French?" She asks surprised.

He gave her that lopsided grin, the one that melted her. "A wee bit."

"Tell me what you said?" She cooed.

"You complete me, my treasure." His voice was smooth and sincere.

She touches his lips with her fingertips, their faces just a breath apart. "Oh how lucky I am...my lover...you're so good...so good," she breathes, kissing him over and over.

They drift off holding each other and make love once more before dawn. The anxiety, nerves and fears of yesterday gradually dissipated with each kiss, every impassioned touch, and every time Charles filled her.

Elsie watched him leave the bed to go relieve himself. His naked body, lovely and strong. She smiled knowing he was hers. Soon they realized they were ravished and ordered a breakfast fit for a king. Elsie slipped her shift over her head not bothering with her knickers while Charles put his shorts on. They ate on the bed, laughed and fed each other, kissed and drank champagne from the night before. They took a bath together and played with the phone on the wall like they were school kids.

* * *

"Don't wear it!" Charles blurted out as he sat in the chaise and watched Elsie get dressed. She turned to him, holding the corset in her hand. "It's a pain in the ass and I would like to be able to feel _you_ when I wrap my arm around you later." Those chocolate brown eyes smiling at her.

Elsie stood and stared back at herself in the mirror. She thought '_to hell with it, the young girls are doing away with them completely_. _I can go one day without it!' _Charles had gotten so aroused watching her put on her garter and hose that he had to leave the room. She had laughed at him and promised when she took them off, he could follow through with it.

* * *

Soon they left the luxury of their hotel room and spent the day, sightseeing. Charles was very familiar with London but Elsie not as much. He loved showing her the places he went on his half day while there during the season. He showed her St Paul's and his favorite pub on Trafalgar Square. The streets were crowded and many more people than Charles ever remembered. The war had brought much change and London was experiencing an economic downturn. They stopped at Selfridge & Co. Motors, Charles was an admirer of motor cars and while Elsie could care less, it made her smile to see his enthusiasm and knowledge about them. Charles told her it was a dream of his to own one after he retired. She thought it silly but surely would never say.

They walked around the open markets and picnicked in St James Park. Charles took his jacket off and spread it out for Elsie to sit on. They kissed openly and both talked of the liberated feeling they had to be able to love without boundaries. Charles was far less concerned with preserving the past and the old ways than he was a week ago. He was happy, truly happy, for the first time in his life.

* * *

"I've reserved a table for us at 8 Els." Charles relaxed in the chaise reading the newspaper. He heard her come out of the bathroom, where she had taken another bath to relax. She loved that he was finding these endearing pet names for her, mostly she loved the comfort of being married to him. She purposefully draped the plush towel haphazardly around her, letting her breast stay exposed and paraded by him. He dropped one corner of the paper and peered around it. His gaze awarded with the site of his half naked wife. He quickly pulled his watch out of his pocket. _'6:40. Enough time to get one in?' _He wondered to himself. Elsie sauntered back by him but squealed with laughter when he yanked the towel away. It pulled her back toward him and she fell into his arms on the lounger. "You little kitten!" He kissed her and fondled her breasts.

"What about our dinner reservations, darling?"

"We should practice!" He waggled those thick eyebrows and gave her one of his characteristic looks.

Elsie turned around quickly, straddling him and started pulling at the buttons on his trousers. Charles jumped into action as well, yanking at his tie and shirt buttons. Soon they we're naked, kissing, sucking, licking, biting every inch they could possibly touch. He flipped her over, pulling her down toward the end of the chaise. She eagerly spread her legs for him to enter and winced in pain when he did. "Just relax baby." Charles waited until she was stretched to accommodate him. He leaned down and took her breast in his mouth then shifted his weight high against her sensitive little button. He pressed in and up to put pressure there. Elsie moaned with pleasure. She climaxed very quickly and he wasn't far behind. "Oh Char...oh...Charles.." She gasped his name, cupping his firm buttocks and pulling him deeper into her. He began to move quicker, his thrusting erratic and she knew he was close. She pulled her legs up higher to allow him more penetration and held him close as he swelled inside her, the pulsing of his warm seed spreading throughout her most intimate place causes her to cry out and climax again.

Charles lies spent on top of her, struggling to return to normal. "If I didn't know better, I would think you've put as much time into being a great lover as you having running Downton!" She teased.

"I've practiced every night in my dreams with you sweetheart," he answers.

TBC….Whew! ;)


	15. Chapter 15

I mean it IS their honeymoon ya'll! J

* * *

Elsie stepped from the bathroom and Charles' breath caught in his throat. He was speechless at the sight of her.

She swayed over to him and stepped up and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for my perfume. I love it."

He breathed her in and closed his eyes in revelry. "Oh my dear...I've never seen you more beautiful. And you smell good enough to eat." He placed a tender kiss in that creamy space between her collar bone and neck.

Elsie had purchased an evening gown the same day she purchased her wedding dress. She typically made all her dresses but she didn't have time to create something elegant enough for London. It was midnight blue silk with sheer organza sleeves and cut with a sweetheart neckline instead of her usual high collared dresses and it made her blue eyes come alive. "My beauty, that color makes your eyes more beautiful than ever," Charles observed. She wore a simple piece of silver jewelry around her neck and her beloved wedding ring. Her lips were painted with a soft red and her eyes lightly lined, her cheeks pinched with just a hint of rouge. It wasn't customary for housekeepers to wear makeup but she had determined she was going to live like the rest of society while away from Downton. This decision was paying off in more ways than one. It not only liberated her and made her feel sexy and alive; she was thrilled to do this for him for she knew it made him happy to see her this way. It also took her mind off of her pending health.

Charles dressed in black tie. Elsie brushed his lapels. "Mmm...You, my handsome husband, make me want to stay here and do naughty things all evening." His face was freshly shaven and his aftershave was clean and light. Her eyes sparkled, gazing up at him.

"You will get no argument from me, my love. I could spend the rest of my days in bed with you." He squeezed her bottom and caressed her ear with his lips.

She giggled and swatted his behind. "We should eat though."

"I suppose." Charles wrapped her stole around her and held his arm out for her to take. "Off we go."

* * *

"What is this?" Charles inquired of the waiter at the River Restaurant, inside the Savoy, when he brought the finest bottle of their house wine.

"A bottle of our house finest, sir." He handed Charles a note.

_'My dear Carson, you've been picking my wine every evening for the last 30 years, it seems only fitting to pick yours this evening.' _Lord Grantham.

A smile spreads across Charles' face and he nods to the waiter.

The waiter poured a small amount in Charles' glass, he swirled it around and sniffed, tasted it. "Excellent."

Elsie smiled and fell deeper in love, admiring him in his element. He was a connoisseur of fine wine, fine things, even if it was by trade.

They enjoyed a lovely dinner, held hands while they ate and kissed every now and then, across the table. It was the finest meal either of them could remember ever having. Dessert was a decadent chocolate cake that acted as an aphrodisiac for them both. Charles was aroused and amused at Elsie's inability to contain her lust for it. "Oh...this is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten."

Elsie's eyes rolled back as she licked the chocolate from the spoon. Charles reached across the table and fed her another bite just to watch her. "Baby...you're giving me a rise. You must stop that now!" He whispered and she giggled.

* * *

They left the restaurant, extremely satisfied and took a walk along the Thames. Of course they walked hand in hand and kissed whenever the urge hit them, which was often. Elsie laid her head on his shoulder and warmed her hands with his. He had removed his coat, much to her protest, to wrap around her as the night air was chilly.

"Shall we go dancing my dear?" Charles inquired.

Elsie did not consider herself a great dancer but enjoyed the dances she had attended. "I would love to."

They returned to the hotel and decided to stop at the American Bar first, intrigued by its name and decor and needing refreshment.

"What's your pleasure milady?" he teased and placed a hot kiss behind her ear as he pulled a chair out for her to sit in.

"Mmm...Surprise me, love." Elsie reached up behind her and cupped his cheek in her palm.

"How is your evening, sir?" The bartender asked Charles as he approached the beautiful oak bar.

"It is a fine evening. I am on my honeymoon with the most beautiful woman in Britain." Charles' chest swelled with pride.

"Oh fine evening indeed then, Sir. Congratulations on your nuptials. What can I serve you?"

"What would you suggest for my Scottish lass?"

The man stood thinking for a moment then spoke, "How about an Athol Brose; a classic Scottish cocktail?"

"Sounds grand and I'll have a scotch without water."

After 3 of the delicious cocktails Elsie was drunk and Charles was completely amused, watching her. He knew they would not make it to the ballroom next door and wondered if they could make it to the room without having to carry her.

"Charsssssls." She started giggling uncontrollably. "Did you hear me? I called you...Cha...Char..."

Charles could not help but laugh but he was afraid she was going to make a spectacle of them both if he didn't get her out of there soon. "Darling, let's go to the room." He stood to help her up.

"WHAT ABOUT DANCING?!" her voice was loud and boisterous.

"Shhh...Darling...we will dance later. Come now." Charles wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and led her to the lift to take them to their room.

"Oh baaaaby." Elsie fell into Charles' chest and reached down and grabbed his crotch and made him jump. "I want you..." she slurred.

"Okay...okay...let's just get to the room." He leads her out of the lift.

They spill into the room, Elsie falling in behind him, giggling again. "Charllles...I'm DRUNK!" she announces. "What...was...in..." her voice trailed off as she kicked off her shoes and started to strip her clothes off.

She had dressed in the peach chemise, under her evening gown, thinking that the night might get a little steamy once they returned and she wanted him to see the gift she had planned to give him so long ago but was too embarrassed.

She struggled to get the zipper down on her dress and Charles walked over to help her. It soon slipped, effortlessly, off of her shoulder and down her body to the floor.

Charles felt that familiar stirring in his loins, noticing the sheer lingerie. He was already aroused from her frisky behavior. "Elsie Carson, you are a little minx!"

Elsie sauntered over to him, hooking her finger in the front of his trousers. She walked him backwards until the back of his knees hit the chaise lounge and it forced him down. She knelt on the floor in front of him and began to unbutton his trousers. Her inhibitions lowered because of the alcohol, she pulls his manhood out and brings it to her lips.

"Oh Elsie….baby…you don't have to….uh…oh…." Charles was shocked and struggled to get the words out.

Elsie caressed his shaft with her mouth until he was rock hard then stood up, stumbled and almost fell over. With heavy lids, she bent down and kissed him, giggling and drowsy with desire. She reached down to unbutton her chemise and before he had hardly recovered from her oral administrations, she straddled him and used her hand to guide him inside her. "Ah yes…yesssss…..that's my big boy." She sung.

Charles gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes closed, reveling in her uninhibited state. "Oh Gods….oh Els….." Charles grabbed her hips and helped guide her. It wasn't long before he reached his end; she collapsed on top of him.

Charles helped her to the bed, covered her body and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Sleep now my kitten."

TBC…


	16. Chapter 16

"Love? Are you quite alright?" Charles rapped lightly on the bathroom door. It was morning and Elsie had slept only awhile and been up and down the rest of the night. He was concerned about her.

Elsie felt nauseous and light headed. Her head was pounding, her skin was sweaty yet cold to the touch and her complexion pale. She considered her symptoms and if they weren't just compounded from the same ones that had been plaguing her, she would chalk it up to just a hangover. "Yes dear. I'm alright." She opened the door soon to his furrowed brow.

"Baby…are you sure?" Charles walked back to the bed with her and followed her as she crawled back under the blankets. "Is it the alcohol?" She turned her back to him and closed her eyes, hoping the pain in her head would subside.

"I think so." She whispered, knowing she didn't believe it.

He slid in beside her and wrapped his arm around the soft flesh of her abdomen. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just hold me." The reality of her health was never far off and she cursed this plight and the fear it brought. She struggled to hold back tears. For the first time since arriving in London, Elsie felt ill and she was scared and sad. She didn't want to ruin their last day and prayed this spell would pass quickly.

Charles didn't say, but his fear was just as great and he pulled her to him, praying silently.

* * *

He brought a cup of tea to the bed and sat with her. "How are you feeling my dear?"

She gave him a sweet smile and took the tea. "Thank you sweetheart." She took a sip and closed her eyes. "Mmm...just what I need."

Charles sat next to her and put his hand on her knee. "My darling, are you quite alright? I'm worried about you."

Elsie lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry I ruined our wonderful evening." She bit her lower lip and gave him a forlorn look.

Charles searched her expression for a bit then spoke with a slight grin. "Elsie Carson, if you could remember the things you did to me last night, I doubt you'd be apologizing."

"Why?" She asked innocently.

He leaned over and kissed her. "Never you mind. Let's eat some breakfast."

Charles took her tea cup and helped her off the bed. "I'll be right there." She reached the door to the bathroom and turned around. "And Charles?"

"Hmm...? Charles turned to acknowledge her.

"I _do_ remember how good you tasted last night." She smiled wickedly and disappeared into the bathroom. Charles' mouth fell open.

* * *

They finished breakfast and dressed. Elsie still wasn't feeling well but she concealed it as much as she could and was determined to make the most of their last day in London. She couldn't seem to get rid of her headache but mentally told herself it was the drink from last night.

Charles knew but wouldn't push her to talk about it. He was mindful though of how she was feeling and kept their excursion options low key. The main thing he wanted to do today was take her shopping. He had never been one to frivolously spend money but he had never had an occasion to and he couldn't wait to shower her with some beautiful things.

They left their room and the hotel and hailed a cab to Selfridge & Co. on Oxford Street.

"Where are we going Charles?" Elsie inquires.

"I want to take you shopping my love." Charles held her hand that rested on his knee as he looked out the window of the cab, taking in the colorful sites of the city. "

"Ohhhh...that's sounds nice."

"It will be!" He said cheerfully and leaned over to kiss her.

Charles bought her a handbag and a new hat, new shoes and 2 new dresses. His face turned a million shades of red and she giggled when they passed the lingerie department. He bought her several new shifts and a newer, softer, corset along with a brassiere. She had never owned a brassiere and she wanted to know what all the fuss was about. He bought her new garters and hosiery, a brooch, new hair pins and expensive rose petal body cream at Berkeley Square.

"Charles you must stop all this. I'm not royalty!" She had pleaded with him but inside she had never felt more loved and cared for in all her life. No one had ever made over her like this and she had certainly never been pampered. They walked further around Piccadilly Circus. He made her sit and rest every little bit. They watched the scene around them, children running and playing stick ball, lovers sharing themselves with one another, taxi's and bicycles.

"Stay here." Charles instructed Elsie.

"Where are you go..." her voice trailed off as he walked away from her, knowing he would be up to something wonderful as he was headed straight for the Wall's Ice Cream truck.

Charles returned with 2 ice cream cones and a huge smile on his face. It made her smile too. "How'd I do?"

"Mr. Carson, you did splendid." She took a lick of the creamy confection. "As usual."

* * *

"Charles tried for almost 1/2 an hour to concentrate on his new automobile magazine but couldn't. His thoughts were anxious and he was worried about Elsie. She tried to hide her pain, stress, whatever it was, but he had paid very close attention to her all day and knew she wasn't well. She had wanted to relax in the bath and he ran one for her when they returned. He just couldn't settle his mind so he got up and went to the closed door of the bathroom. He stood and closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh before turning the knob in his hand. He peered around the door and cleared his throat slightly.

Her sweet, unexpected look made his heart constrict with the kind of love that causes pain. She smiled as he walked into the bathroom. He leaned back against the vanity. "I missed you." His voice was low.

Elsie smiled and smoothed a bar of soap up around her neck. "You want to join me?"

He doesn't answer for awhile. "That's okay sweet heart. You go ahead."

She could tell he was melancholy. "What is it love?"

"I'm quite alright. I…guess I'm just pensive….about tomorrow." He lowered his head.

"Charles?" Join me..please?" She pleaded to him, suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to be near him.

He closed his eyes briefly and ran his fingers through his graying locks then gave her a tender smile. "Okay," he says quietly.

He undressed slowly, much to her pleasure. She tried to busy herself with the bar of soap but couldn't keep her eyes away from him. His calves were smooth and muscular, his thighs thick; she still blushed when he removed his shorts. His stomach was taut and his chest defined. Soon, he laid the last of his garments across the vanity and stepped to the porcelain tub. Elsie moved up to let him get in behind her. He carefully stepped in and wrapped his legs around hers. She nestled comfortably into him and he took the soap from her and began to move his hands, with the soap, over her full and lovely breasts.

"You're so beautiful Elsie..." Charles whispered against her ear. "I will miss this when we return to Downton."

She turned slightly in his arms so she could look at him. "My darling, we will make a life, when we return to Downton, as husband and wife...lovers..." Elsie lowered her voice. "It will be different but it will be wonderful. It will be wonderful because we are...together." It was difficult to say those words, knowing what might be ahead for them. She turned her face away for fear he would see her angst.

He wraps his arms tighter around her, pushing the thoughts of the future down.

* * *

TBC...


	17. Chapter 17

Oh sigh...these two...i die. Sorry for this unediting version. I may not be able to put it up later so I'm doing it now, without proofing! Thank you so much for the encouragement...it keeps me plugging away at this story!

* * *

Charles lay in a supine position on the bed in nothing but his shorts. He watched Elsie braid her hair at the desk in their room. She walked to the bed when she finished and handed him her new body cream. "Will you?"

"Of course darling." He moved off the bed and unscrewed the top of the body cream. Elsie turned her back to him, moved her braid and lifted her shift above her shoulders and he helped her pull it off. He scoops the cream into his hand and rubs it into his own hands first, as to not surprise her with a cold touch. They both stood next to the bed and he smoothed the lotion across her back, down her ribs, around her shoulders. His hands were soft and warm and when he reached around to her abdomen, she brought his hands to her breasts and leaned back into his chest, closing her eyes against his touch. He kissed her exposed neck and squeezed her breasts.

* * *

They made love; passionate and tender. She had insisted, even though she felt exhausted and sore, God was she sore, but she needed him; the feel of him on her, in her. He was careful, gentle, took his time and resisted the desire to go quickly. He finally collapsed on top of her and she kissed his shoulder, that place on his neck that pulsated in perfect rhythm when he slept, whispered how much she loved him in that sweet Scottish lilt.

She loved this moment, every time...he became like a little boy in her arms. His body shook, his breathing ragged and his eyes heavy with drowsiness. For almost 3 days, she had held this man, in her embrace, pulled him into her very soul and given every part of herself to him. She considered how she had waited her entire adult life to be held like this; a man, who loved her, to hold her and move her, both physically and emotionally. She thought about the nights she had pleasured herself,her thoughts on him...always him...and how strong her climax was, at times. Elsie Hughes was a strong woman with deep convictions, and a secure sense of who she was and she had always been in tune with her body. But she had never fathomed the depth of how she would feel to have_ him _pleasure her. The first time they made love, just 2 days before, she was not prepared for how her body would react at his touch...his intimate touch. She felt out of control but it was the greatest feeling she had ever experienced.

The Carson's lay spooned together. Charles drifted in and out of sleep while Elsie stroked his arm that was draped around her middle.

"When did you first know you loved me?" She asks quietly.

"Hmmm..." he murmurs.

Elsie turns in his arms. "Tell me when you first knew you loved me."

Charles' eyes are closed but he smiles. She runs her slender finger down his cheek. "Well..." he opens his eyes, his lids heavy. "It was 1914." He says matter of factly. "You pulled me into your sitting room and started to tell me the story of you and Joe Burns." He paused and raised an eyebrow.

She began to smile at the memory. "Go on."

"You met him in the village for dinner and he took you to the fair and asked you to marry him."

"Yes..."

"It scared me to death Elsie. I thought I had lost you forever." His eyes were dark and his expression sad.

"But why didn't you..."

"I don't know why I didn't come to you then. I wanted to...God knows...the nights I laid awake, rehearsing...telling you...I was a damn fool. I'll live with that regret for the rest of my life. I've missed so much precious time with you." His eyes brim with tears.

Her own eyes fill with tears. "It's in the past. We both made mistakes where _we_ were concerned. We put everyone else ahead of us but there's no use living with regrets. We have this moment, Charles. We must live it to the fullest...because we never know how..." she swallows hard. "We never know...what tomorrow will bring." Tears spill down her flushed cheeks. They hold each other and cry...knowing her words are as true as any every spoken.

* * *

The mood was somewhat somber as they dressed and packed for the train trip back to Downton. Both of them knew what lie ahead; appointments, the possibility of going to America, work, fear. They took their time and spent some time exploring the hotel. After all they hadn't spent a lot of time out of their room.

A plume of black smoke rose into the air above the treeline at King's Cross station. The Carson's settled into their seats on the train and Charles laid his hand in her lap, palm up, he stared at her with intent. Elsie looked at his hand then at his face and smiled, placing her slender hand in his, he took in a deep, resolute breath and looked forward...toward Yorkshire, Downton, their future. She steeled her anxious heart and made a silent promise to hold onto hope. He was hers, she was his and nothing would change that...not sickness, not even death. The moments they had shared these few days could not ever be erased. The connection that bound them together now was a thick braided chord of love, passion, and intimacy. They had committed verbally and physically, with words and with actions, to love and support each other until their dying days.

Charles held Elsie close as she dosed on his shoulder for the duration of the trip. They pulled into the station at York and found the faithful chauffeur waiting there for them. "Mr. and Mrs. Carson...nice to see you again!" He smiled and took the bags from Charles' hands. "Mr. Smithson, good to see you as well." Elsie smiled warmly and nodded.

The car turned onto the long drive toward the house, Charles gave her comforting squeeze of the hand and she leaned into him.

"They're here!" Robert and Cora step outside to greet The Carson's. It was unusual for the Lord and Lady of the house to go out to greet the staff but they weren't conventional and didn't care what it looked like. The Dowager Countess would never dream of going out to meet the staff but she wasn't there so Robert and Cora gladly went to meet their 2 most respected staff members.

Charles couldn't help but slip into Butler mode once out of the car. He nodded his greetings to Jimmy and motioned for him take their bags. Jimmy smiled and nodded before grabbing the bags.

"Do you want these upstairs Mr. Carson?"Jimmy asked.

"Carson, Ol Chap! How are you?" Robert clapped him on the shoulder and Charles had a hard time containing his joy. They shook hands and Robert started toward the front door.

"Oh Milord we will enter through the back." Charles called after him.

"Don't be silly. You will enter through the front door."

"Indeed!" Cora put her hand on Elsie's back. "Mrs...Carson..." she smiled. "I do hope you are well."

"I am your Ladyship. Thank you for asking."

"I've had a letter from my mother." Cora talks quietly as the two ladies walk inside. "I'll let you get settled and then we can talk."

"Certainly."

"Have you felt well while in London?" Cora smiled sweetly.

Elsie hesitates slightly. "I have been tired...but I'm okay." she lies.

"I'm so grateful for all you've done your ladyship. It's so kind of you and Lord Grantham to take care of us."

"It is our pleasure Mrs. Hugh...Carson. I'm sorry, I will get that down." Cora makes apologies.

"It's okay. I've called him Mr. Carson a hundred times this week!" They both laugh.

"Carson, we have something to tell you. Send for Anna and Bates, would you James?" Robert ushers them into the library. "Have a seat."

Elsie and Charles look at each other, both slightly uncomfortable with their new found freedom among the family. They sit close and Charles reaches for her hand. She takes it and instantly her nerves are settled a little.

Mary and Edith joined them in the library. "Oh Carson, Mrs. Hughes..." They all laugh. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Carson. It's good to have you back." Mary greeted them warmly. Soon Anna and Bates have joined them as well. They pass sentiments around before Lord Grantham begins to speak.

"Carson? Mrs. Carson? We have been discussing what would happen when you returned. How the...arrangements would go once you returned to your posts. And Bates and Anna have approached us with an thought."

"Go on." Charles said.

Robert gestured toward John Bates. "I think you should tell them Bates."

John cleared his throat. "Well, Anna and I have been talking and we've decided we would like to give you our cottage."

TBC...


	18. Chapter 18

The Carson's are greeted warmly when they arrive downstairs. They don't stay long as Carson wants to get Elsie to the cottage to rest. "Bates, I'll get Mrs. Hughes settled in and return soon."

"Very good, sir. Do you need help?" Bates asks.

"No, Smith can help us get in. Thank you."

* * *

Thank you Smith, I can take it from here." Charles dismissed the chauffeur outside the small cottage.

Charles opened the door and stood back for Elsie to go in. She entered slowly and tears form once again in her eyes. It's lovely; fresh roses decorate the small kitchen table. Charles puts their bags down and wandered around the small place. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"It most certainly is." Charles handed Elsie his handkerchief. "I just feel terrible..." she starts.

"NO! We are going to accept this lovely gift with grace and we will enjoy it."

She stood silent for a long moment; injured slightly at the connotation that she wasn't grateful. She doesn't say anything but her expression tells him _everything._

"Els..." he starts toward her.

She turned away and walked to the bedroom. Charles silently berated himself; he only wanted to ease her mind about taking the cottage. He decided to give her a little time alone and brought the rest of their bags inside.

* * *

Elsie sat on the bed and considered that her actions probably did come across as ungrateful. She wasn't…in her heart, she was truly appreciative of this incredible gesture of love. She just felt guilty. She knew how much Anna loved this place and how hard she worked to make it _their_ home. It didn't feel right to Elsie for them to take it. She ran her hand across the quilted spread. It was inviting and she was so tired but she turned when she heard the floor creek and saw Charles standing there. His expression was forlorn and it made her sad.

"Come..." she reached her hands toward him. He sat next to her.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to hurt you...the cranky butler came out in me, I guess." He smiled his characteristic half smile that melted her every time.

She pats his thigh and smiles. "It's alright. I know it comes across that I'm not grateful for this wonderful gift. I am Charles. I truly am. It's just I feel guilty that we are taking their home..the home they have created together."

"But we aren't taking it. We are _accepting_ it. They have offered it to us and want us to have it. It doesn't have to be forever. Let's look at it right now as a place for us to stay while we are going through this..." He lowered his gaze. "...this..."

"...trial." she finished.

He looks up and searched her eyes. "Yes...trial." They lean in at the same time and kiss tenderly for a moment then it turns more heated. Charles gently pushed her back on the bed and lay beside her, petted her with warm kisses along her jawline, her neck, her ear.

"Do you have to go?" she says breathlessly, needing more of him.

"No darling, not right away." he confirmed while starting to undress her.

"Oh good." she kisses him again, her tongue finding his. "Then make love to me." She demands in that thick Scottish accent.

He stops his actions and just stares at her. He could not believe this woman he had known for so many years, demure and modest among the family and staff, was actually a fantastic, attentive lover. Every time they had made love in the last 3 days, he was surprised each time at her boldness. "Do you know what it does to me when you say that? How much I love to hear that?"

"Well I'm glad because I might say it every day for the rest of our lives." She reached between his legs and wrapped her hand gently around him.

He eyes rolled back in his head and he laughed a low guttural laugh. "Oh…Gods…how did I get so lucky?!" he mused.

* * *

Elsie kissed the salty sweat of Charles' passion from his forehead. His chest rising and falling, his breath ragged and unsteady. She is still straddling him. "Oh Elsie...how are you this good?." He gently turned them both, without losing the connection between them. "How do you know exactly what I need?" he says breathlessly.

"Like you honey, I've loved you, in my dreams, for more years than I can remember...and practice makes perfect."

He closed his eyes and buries his head in the hollow between her neck and the pillow. "Oh...baby...I love that you're not afraid..."

She wraps her legs tightly around him and runs her nails over his back. "...not afraid to what?" She kisses his shoulder.

"...to please me….take care of my needs..."

"I love you...that's why. I _want_ to pleasure you. God gave me the parts...why not put them to good use?"

He chuckles and moves slightly to the side, his skin hot against hers. "I'm so thankful."

"Oohh Charles...your body gets so hot after we make love." she purrs.

"I'm sorry...shall I move?"

"Not a chance...I love it." She turns into him and wraps her arms around his waist, nestling her leg between his legs.

Their respiration's return to normal and Charles turns onto his back. He takes her hand in his and brings it to his lips. ""I'm so happy Elsie. I never thought I could be this happy and even though we have, possibly, a difficult road ahead, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. You're my heart, the love of my life and I honestly cannot express, in words, how deeply I love you." His eyes brim with tears as well as hers.

She can't speak, she closes her eyes and the tears are forced down her cheeks. She brings her finger to her lip and swallows. "I...feel...the same..." she can only whisper to keep from breaking down. The emotions of the last week, their new life, the looming health issues, her heart just being raw with passion and love, she could not contain it all.

* * *

Charles walked through the door of the cottage, a delicious smell wafted through the air. "What is that smell darling?" He took his overcoat off and draped it over the kitchen chair. He goes to the stove where Elsie is and rested his hand on her hip and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. He is surprised when he ran his hand along her hip and back and she is not wearing anything under the think cotton dress she has on. He has never see in it before. Her hair is loosely pinned up and he can smell the lavender body cream he bought her. He wondered if there would come a day that he wasn't turned on by her. He couldn't imagine it. Everything she did, the way she moved, the way she smelled made him want her. He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and tickled her neck with kisses. "Mmm...you sexy kitten...standing in the kitchen, in barely anything...you drive me mad you know." Charles begins to sway and Elsie giggled and covered his hands with hers.

"Now stop that! I've got to finish supper!" She reached behind and swatted at him.

TBC…..


	19. Chapter 19

Charles had been back in he full swing of his duties for almost a week. Elsie had gone back in the mornings, overseeing the girls and managing her invoices and the ordering. The new schedule, she was finding very enjoyable. She had insisted on a pay raise for Anna and a decrease of her wages. She had moments during the day that she felt unwell but it was nothing that she couldn't conceal for the time being. She wasn't sure what was happening with her body but she knew something. She just felt trapped by timing and didn't know what to do until they knew about the lump and she didn't see the point in worrying Charles.

They met with Cora and learned that Mrs. Levinson had written and said she would welcome them with open arms into her home and all of her resources to help Mrs. Hughes get the care she needs if the time came, would be theirs. The next step would be to see if the results came back positive and then they would make a decision based on that.

* * *

"Stop that! I've got to finish fixing supper!" Elsie swatted at Charles and moved him out of the way to open the oven.

Charles sat at the small wooden kitchen table and watched her with great desire. "Mmm...won't it need to cool a bit?"

She put the pie on top of the stove and turned to him with a sinful grin. "It will..."

She reached him and pulled her skirt up to straddle his legs, leaning down to kiss him hard on the mouth. "How was your day my dear?"

Charles groaned deep and palmed her scantily clad buttocks. "It was lonely." he feigns hurt.

"I was only away from you for a few hours you silly man!" She kissed him again and this time, he deepens it. He pulled her down on his groin and took in a long breath. Her knickers were split, for convenience sake, and she could feel him beneath her.

He picked her up in one swift movement and she squeals with surprise. "OH! Charles!" She obliged and wrapped her legs tightly around him and her arms about his neck. She leaned down and kissed him while he started for the bedroom. "WAIT!" He stopped and looks at her. She ran her finger over his lips, driving him mad. "Take me here..." He searched her dark eyes then kissed her passionately.

"Here?"

"On the table." She whispered.

Charles was shocked yet pleased beyond his wildest imaginations. He and Mrs. Hughes...his Mrs...love on the kitchen table, these were the things dreams were made of, he thinks. "Oh Mrs. Carson..you naughty girl!"

She smiled and opened her legs when he sat her down on the table. They make quick work of their clothes and in no time, he is resting there, his warm nakedness, his stiff manhood prodding at her. He suggested she lie back and when she does, she cries out when she feels his lips at her soft center. "OH...Char..." He had yet to explore her in this way and she had wondered if he found it repulsive. Obviously he had conquered any inhibitions about it because what his tongue was doing to her was dreamy.

He brought her to climax, felt her buck wildly against his lips then let her settle down, let her alone for a moment while the sensitivity returned to normal. Her breath was ragged and heavy and she felt a little self conscious. He sensed it and pulled her to a sitting position and kissed her tenderly. "You're so beautiful baby...you taste so good...so sweet..." he whispered.

She kissed his shoulder and wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him. He pulled her to the end of the table and entered her with ease. They made love quickly, he reached his end inside her after she eventually straddled him while he sat in a kitchen chair. It hurt but the pleasure trumped it for her and for him it was his new favorite position. She was still so tight against him, her breasts were fully exposed to him, he could hold her and she could easily kiss him, which turned him on so much when he was about to climax. He loved the feel of her tongue and lips on his when he came.

"Oh..Charles...fill me...yes...oh honey...yes...yes...deeper..." Her breathless words spoken on his lips drove him to such deeper pleasure. "...right there...oh...god...yes..." She tightened around him and he exploded forcefully inside her.

"AHHHHHH..." he cried out without reservations. "AHHHH...Els..." his whole body shook with spasms and she continued to ride him gently until they were both limp with exhaustion. They stayed connected for a long while, holding each other, him still inside her. She eventually moved off of him and they both went the bathroom to clean up and dress.

"Wouldn't the younger set blush at the sex we are having?!" Elsie laughs while pulling her dress over her head.

"Oh...love...it's the greatest feeling I've ever experienced." Charles pulls his shorts on and dresses in his robe. He joins her and wraps his arms around her from behind. "Is it for you?" he questions.

"Do I look miserable?" She quips with that thick Scottish rogue.

Her sarcasm was spot on. It was both welcome and annoying at times. It never failed to make him smile though..even if it was just at himself. "I just want to make sure it feels good to you."

She softened and answered him sincerely. "Oh Charles, had I known it would feel this good, I would've made my move on you a long time ago. I had no idea." She kissed him gently and ran her finger over his bottom lip.

* * *

"You stay in bed love. I'll get something at the Abbey this morning." Charles leaned down and kissed Elsie. She had another sleepless night and he was worried, once again. "Do you want me to stay darling?" He sat down and rubbed her back, her face is buried in the pillow.

She would take his suggestion of staying in bed. Her head was pounding and she had added severe stomach pain to her list of maladies. She had never felt pain like this and she was thankful he was going soon, it had become increasingly more difficult to hide it. "No...honey...you go on. I'll be okay." she whispers.

He's reluctant to leave and observed her for a while before getting up. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. "I love you...my sweet baby. I'll come check on you as soon as I can break free."

She turned on her back and reached for him, knowing he is worried about her. She pulled him into her embrace and kissed his neck. "I love you honey. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

* * *

The pain is searing and Elsie thought she will have to go to the house yet she is rendered almost immobile because of the pain. She lay on the bathroom floor, curled in the fetal position, the cold offering a tiny bit of a distraction. She crawled to the toilet and emptied her stomach, her body racked in convulsions by the intensity of the pain. She was scared now and started to pray.

"Can you handle luncheon? It's just Lady Edith and Lord Grantham today?" Charles finished filing some invoices and questioned Barrow, who had stepped into his pantry.

"I think I can handle it, Sir." Thomas lingered for a moment and Carson turned in question. "Is that all?"

Thomas stood silent for a moment, searching for the right words. "I...uh...I wondered how...Mrs. Hughes is getting along?" (Charles and Elsie, the family, had decided it would be easier on guests, if nothing else, to continue calling Elsie Mrs. Hughes.)

Charles is seriously stopped in his tracks because he heard the sincerity in Thomas' voice. "She is alright. Thank you for asking Thomas."

"It's just I don't really get to see her much and I...do miss her being around." He lowered in his in timidity.

"I'll tell her you asked after her."

"Thank you, sir."

Charles' morning had been extremely busy and he was glad for that. The more he had to do, the quicker time passed and his mind wasn't on worrying about her as much.

He was coming down the stairs when he heard Elsie's and Anna's voice. "Are you sure, Mrs. Hughes? I can fetch him right away."

"No no..I'm fine...I'll be in my sitting room when he's available."

Charles took the steps as quick as he could and rounded the corner just as she was going in. "Els...Mrs. Hughes..." he tried to stay as formal and professional as he could.

"Oh there you are?" she says sweetly.

Charles was accosted by the site of her. She was pale, ashen almost; red rings around her eyes and she was holding on to the door frame. He smiled at Anna and nodded to dismiss her. "Thank you Anna." Elsie called after her without turning.

Charles gave her a worried look and wrapped his arm around her waist and guided her into her sitting room. She continued to hold on to anything that was near. "What is it Elsie? What is the matter?"

"I'm fine Charles...I just am a little weak." She made it to her settee, sat down and closed her eyes. She had managed the walk from the cottage which was not easy. The pain had subsided almost completely and while she was totally perplexed as to what it could have been she was just grateful beyond words it was over.

"I beg your pardon my dear but I don't think you are fine. You don't look well." Charles came to her and brought a chair to sit in front of her. He took her hands in his. "Has something happened?" He begged.

"No...it's alright honey. I didn't feel well earlier but I'm a little better."

"You should've stayed in bed Elsie." His eyes searched her ashen face. "Let me walk you back to the cottage."

"No...I'm...okay." She stands from the settee, Charles' eyes glance at the place she had been sitting and they widen in horror. He touched the upholstery that is darkened with stain and turns his blood stained fingers over. He looks at Elsie just as she starts to go down. He jumps to catch her and they both fall to the floor. "HELP! BATES! HELP!" He cradled her in his arms. "Elsie...God...oh God...help her! It's okay love...BATES! ANNA!" The sitting room door flung open, Bates is the first to arrive.

"MR. CARSON! WHAT IS IT?" He steps to where they are. Anna is not far behind.

"OH NO!" Anna brings her hand to her mouth! "JIMMY! ALFRED!" she runs from the room. She addressed the 2 boys that have met her in the hall! "GO NOW! FETCH DR. CLARKSON! IT'S MRS. HUGHES! HURRY!"

Charles can hardly breathe himself. He sat down with Elsie in his lap, blood covering his suit. He fights tears and anger for leaving her. "Okay...Elsie...darling...I"m here. I"m not leaving."

TBC...


	20. Chapter 20

Oh we are all of a kindred spirit here, aren't we? I love your comments, your encouraging, your angst, your LOVE for them. I have fallen so deeply in love with these characters...and the people who play them. I literally have ached the last 2 nights while writing. Keep the comments coming! It spurs me on!

* * *

Beryl Patmore sobbed while she scrubbed the upholstery in Mrs. Hughes sitting room.

"It's alright Mrs. Patmore, she'll be okay. I'm sure of it." Daisy struggled to hold her own tears back, hoping she was right.

* * *

Charles stood outside the room where they were attending to Elsie; the front of his stark white waistcoat mostly covered in blood…her blood. The stains on his hands were taking on a brownish hue as it set in deeper. His eyes were glassed over and he could not think of anything but the blood and her pale, beautiful face.

"Mr. Carson?" The sound of his name caused him to jump slightly. "We need blood. Can you donate?" Dr. Clarkson's white coat had some blood on it and that is where Charles' eyes focused first. His mind wouldn't go, it wouldn't process anything. "I…uh…" he knew he should answer, say something but, he couldn't. He only nodded. "Follow Nurse Joan."

"Dr. Clarkson, what can we do? What do you know?" Cora rushed to the doctor's side.

"I'm afraid she has lost a lot of blood. It's what we call a uterine hemorrhage and she's in shock. We are doing everything we can to bring her blood pressure up and keep the seizures down." Dr. Clarkson's voice was grave as was his expression. "You can give blood, that's what we need right now."

"Thank you Dr. Clarkson. We will do just that." Cora and Robert's eyes met and this is all too familiar and all too painful for both of them. "Let's do what we can Robert." They go in the direction of the nurse and Carson."

"You can see her now, Mr. Carson." Charles opened his eyes; he is still dressed in the remains of the day, his waistcoat still bloodied. He had refused to leave and go change until he saw her, until he knew she would be alright. He got up and swallowed hard. His heart was pounding and he was literally scared to death.

Dr. Clarkson pulled the linen curtain to one side. "Now she isn't awake. She is heavily sedated and she will be that way for a while. We won't know if she's out of the woods for some time. If the bleeding has truly stopped, she needs to be able to keep a steady blood pressure and her body temperature must even out. Charles only nods in acknowledgement. He rounded the curtain and stopped as his eyes fell on her. It felt like a vice has been placed on his heart and his knees were weak. "Come…Mr. Carson, have a seat here." The doctor pulled a chair over and placed it near the head of Elsie's bed. Carson sat quickly before he made a fool of himself and toppled over. Dr. Clarkson patted his shoulder gently.

"But..Dr…." Charles turned his head, addressing Dr. Clarkson.

"Yes?"

"Can she hear me?"

Dr. Clarkson smiled slightly. "I think so Mr. Carson." He fibbed. He had no idea if Elsie could hear him but he wanted Mr. Carson to have the hope she did.

Charles stood and leaned over Elsie. He gazed at her pale, sweet face. She looked like a dream, lying there. Her color was better and she seemed at peace. Tears rush to their boundaries and he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips and a stray tear dropped onto her pale lips as he pulled away.

Charles kept vigil at her bedside Everyone had tried to get him to go rest but he had quietly refused. He had not seen her beautiful blue eyes or heard that sweet melodic voice for going on 24 hours. He had sat in a straight back chair almost constantly, resting his head on her only occasionally. He had kissed her and talked to her, urged her to come back to him. There were tears...lots of tears. He was exhausted and emotionally overwrought and the stoic, butler, who had set the precedent among his staff had let his guard down, in front of everyone he knew and he had cried, showed his deep fear of losing the only person that truly mattered to him. His Elsie.

"Mr. Carson, you won't be any good to her or yourself if you wind up here!" Beryl Patmore encouraged him to go rest. "I'll be here...I'll not leave her for a minute." She patted his shoulder gently. "You know it's what she would want you to do!" She grinned which turned one corner of his mouth up in a slight smile.

He was truly exhausted. He hadn't eaten in a day, had only a few sips of water. He was sick to his stomach and his head was pounding. "You are right there."

"She is right Mr. Carson. You need to take care of yourself just now. She will need your strength to recover." Dr. Clarkson urged him as well.

He reluctantly agree and when he stood to go he looked at Dr. Clarkson. "Might I have a word?"

* * *

"Of course." They walked to Dr. Clarkson's office and he offered Charles a seat.

He sat and rubbed his brow. "Dr. Clarkson, what is going on with my wife? Why is this happening?"

"Mr. Carson, this is a complicated matter. While women's health has improved vastly over the last 20 years, we still have a long way to go to understand why things like this happen. We won't know until she is awake and we are able to perform more tests. But..." he lowered his gaze.

The question that had been vexing him since this happened will not leave his mind and while he is embarrassed to ask it, he must know. "Dr...beg your pardon for being so personal but...I must know. As you know, Els...Mrs. Hughes and I are...newlyweds. He glanced nervously at his hands. "We...uh...have...well...we have engaged in..." He rolled his eyes, struggled to say the words.

Dr. Clarkson anticipated what Carson was trying to say. "You've...had...intercourse."

Carson's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. He cleared his throat loudly. "Uh...well...yes...I mean...you see..I just wondered if I've...been the cause of any of this." His voice is almost a whisper as he hung his head.

"Well...yes and no." Dr. Clarkson answered, matter of factly.

"WHAT?" Carson was stunned.

"Let me explain." Dr. Clarkson came around to the front of his desk and leaned against it. "While you've _engaged_, as you say, in sexual activity with your wife...over the last 10 days or so, you've done what every newly married couple do and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Intercourse did not directly cause what has happened to Mrs. Carson.

"However...?" Carson continued for him with eyebrows lifted in question.

"However..." Clarkson said slowly. "There is a certain science to the human body and when a woman has gone through, what we call, the change of life, it is rare but not impossible for a woman to experience a surge of hormones that can sometimes lead to pregnancy, if she is sexually active."

"WHAT?" Charles is flabbergasted and felt like he might pass out. "He leaned back in the chair and brought his hand to his head. "Pregnancy?"

"There are a dozen reasons a woman might experience a hemorrhage of this type. Without further testing, we won't know for sure, but I believe Mrs. Hughes, was quite simply...pregnant. Because of her age, her hormones and her more fragile health right now, I believe her body spontaneously rejected it. Our goal now is to find out why it was so severe."

Mr. Carson could simply not take it in. He leaned on his elbows on his knees and covered his face with is hands. Soon, he gather himself. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I think the worst part is over. It's now just a waiting game to see if the bleeding has truly stopped. She will need to stay here for awhile and be cared for.

Carson stands to leave, his senses somewhat numb. "Thank you doctor."

"Oh Mr. Carson? I have spoken with the pathologist in London, regarding the results of her resent biopsy. I've informed them of what we have now and they are going to push the tests through. I believe we will have an answer before the week is out."

"Very well." Charles wasn't sure he was happy or sad about that news.


	21. Chapter 21

At Cora's insistence, Charles agreed to rest in the Blue Room at the Abbey. She felt he was too exhausted to walk to the attics to his old room. She had arranged for one of the housemaids to bring him a tray. "Now Carson, you must promise me you will eat something and you will try to rest for awhile. I will come and get you if there is any change. You have my word. You'll find fresh clothes in the wardrobe. I had Bates fetch them for you."

* * *

"Thank you Milady." His throat was sore from dryness and his voice hoarse when he spoke.

He is truly grateful for the care he was being shown, albeit it caused him a great deal of stress to break code and be living and acting like a guest in this grand house that had provided his livelihood for more than 30 years.

She left him and Carson stood at the window, staring toward the town where his love was. He couldn't remember a time in his life he was more exhausted or scared.

Charles changed out of the clothes that he had been in since yesterday morning. He stared at the waistcoat, the blood stain. His eyes filled with tears and he held it against him. As morbid as it seemed, it is her and it's the only thing he has at this very moment to feel close to her. He didn't eat, he couldn't. He did drink some tea and laid down in the clean shirt and trousers. It wasn't long before he drifted to sleep and his mind filled with dreams of Elsie, her swollen belly, a tiny baby in her arms. Her face was radiant with joy. She laughed carefree and kissed him and then there were many children around him. He was young and his shoulders were strong and his hair jet black. She was lovely and beautiful; her hair was long and soft curls followed the shape of her face. He dreamed of her body, her breasts full and her nipples pink and hard. His mouth was on her and they made love and he could hear her whispering his name….except it wasn't what she called him…."

"Carson? Carson?" Lady Mary shook him gently and he jarred awake.

"What? Wh….is she okay? How's the baby?" He came to and for a moment looked perplexed at Mary. "I'm sorry Milady...I was...dreaming..."

Mary felt sad for this man she held dear; she had never seen him so low. She didn't question aloud what his dream meant but quickly totaled that he was exhausted. Her heart went out to him. "Carson? Mrs. Hughes is awake and asking for you." She placed a gentle hand on his arm. "She's _awake_…."

He closed his eyes and looked around to get his bearings. "Yes…yes..of course. Thank you lady Mary." He quickly dressed in his clean waistcoat and Mary gladly helped him with his tie and his jacket. "If you ever need a job, milady, I'll gladly write you a reference." He gave her that fatherly look that she had seen since she was a tiny girl, it made her smile.

"I shall keep that in mind Carson. The car is out front, waiting for you."

"Thank you milady."

Elsie had drifted back to sleep when he arrived and Charles' heart sank. He gave her time and it wasn't long before those lashes fluttered to life. He didn't speak but moved his chair as close to the bed as possible.

Her voice was barely audible. "Charles?" she whispered.

"I'm here love." That velvet voice spoke soft and low, close to her ear. "I'm right here."

She took his hand, her eye lids were heavy and her lips were dry. "Can I have some water?"

Charles got her everything she asked for; a glass of water, another blanket and a kiss. He smiled when his lips touched hers. It was hope that his Elsie was coming back to him.

What happened?" She finally asks.

"You gave us a scare love." He tried to make light of it and held her hand in his.

Her expression was pained. "I can't remember...I was in my sitting room...and..." she struggled to recall and her eyes brimmed with tears. "Tell me..."

"Shhh...it's okay baby. You don't have to remember right now. Just concentrate on resting. We can talk all about it later." He encouraged her to rest and not get upset.

"I want to know Charles. Please tell me."

He sucked in a deep breath and relented. "You...collapsed at the Abbey. You...uh...had a hemorrhage and lost a lot of blood." He paused.

"A hemorrhage?" She looks confused.

"Yes. You're okay now though and that is what is important." He brought her hand up to kiss the back of it.

She was struggling to keep her eyes open. "Why...? What caused it?"

Before he could answer she was asleep again and he was so grateful. Dr. Clarkson came in to check on her. "Doctor, I don't want her to know about the...pregnancy...not yet. I will tell her when the time is right. And I certainly don't want anyone at Downton to know." he whispered.

"Of course Mr. Carson. I understand."

The hours turned into days and Elsie continued to regain her strength. She had learned that she had a uterine hemorrhage, and they didn't know exactly why yet. She had grown anxious and her mood was depressive. She cried all the time and had difficulty expressing herself. She felt a sense of loss but she could not pinpoint what.

Dr. Clarkson entered her room holding a large envelope. "Mr Carson...Mrs. Carson? I have some news for you."

Carson had forgotten to tell Elsie the doctor had asked them to rush the results of her biopsy. His heart started pounding and his hands burst with perspiration. He moved his chair where he could see Dr. Clarkson yet be close to her.

"This is the biopsy report we sent to London several weeks ago. I have the results." He pulled the paper from the large envelope.

Elsie's mouth grew dry and she looked at Charles with fear. He took her hand and and prayed.

TBC...(teehee...i love ya'll!)


	22. Chapter 22

"The results show...the lump is benign."

Elsie bursts into tears and laid her head back on the pillow, nearly overwrought with emotion and relief. Charles eyes welled with tears too and he put his head in his hands. Dr. Clarkson let the news soak in and stood quietly.

"Are you sure Doctor...are you _absolutely_ sure?" Charles has stood to address him.

"Mr. Carson, the scientists, doctors who have reviewed this report, in London, are at the top of their field. In fact, I asked them, as a favor to his Lordship to scrutinize as if it were there own."

Charles nodded in acceptance then leaned down to kiss Elsie firm on the mouth. "I love you.." he whispered in her ear as they embraced. "I love you so much." He walked to Dr. Clarkson and extended his hand out of sheer elation and pride. "Thank you Dr. Clarkson. Thank you..."

"Well I didn't' _do_ anything but I _am _glad to deliver this news to both of you. We will need to discuss surgery at some point and we will want to know if this has anything to do with your current condition. We certainly do not have to talk about that now but we will need to soon." He crossed the room and takes Elsie's hand in his and smiled. "I'm happy Mrs. Hughes...please forgive me...Mrs. Carson."

"Dr. Clarkson, you can call me whatever you like!" She squeezed his hand with as much strength as she can muster. "Thank you," she smiles.

"I'll leave you two." He started to leave.

"Dr. Clarkson...when do you think I can go home?" Elsie questioned.

"I think in a day or so. I want to make sure you're blood pressure stays steady another day. But, you won't be able to work for some time. I am going to order bed rest if I am going to release you."

"I can handle that...I just want to be home."

Charles had gone back to the Abbey during the day now that he knew Elsie was going to be okay and it was just a matter of time for her strength to return. He woke early and came to the village each morning by 6 and spent an hour with her. Then he came at the end of the evening to tuck her into bed but was returning to sleep at her insistence.

Elsie felt there was more to tell and she had prodded Charles and he just kept reassuring her that they needed to focus on her getting stronger. Each time he said this, she felt a pang of fear. She couldn't imagine anything being worse than the threat of cancer but she felt like she knew him well enough to know that he was hiding something.

One afternoon when Clarkson was doing his rounds, Charles was away at the house, Elsie asked him. "Dr. Clarkson. Have you ever found why it is, I had this...hemorrhage?" She could tell immediately he was reluctant which angered her. "Don't you think I have right to know about my own body?"

"Mrs. Carson. It's just that..."

"It's just that I asked him not to tell you." Charles' deep bass voice echoed from across the room.

Dr. Clarkson spun around. "Oh Mr. Carson..."

"WHY?" Elsie questioned, her tone thick and severe.

"Because I wanted you to recover a little more...before..." Charles joined her bedside and took his hat off.

"Before what? Maybe the both of you are underestimating me emotionally! Now I want to know what is going on...right now!" She demanded.

Both men were taken aback by her demands and looked to each other as if to say, _help! _

"Elsie..." Charles sat and reached over to take her hand and she jerked it away.

"No! Tell me!" She

That Scottish fire was sparking and Charles knew he better tell her. His heart was torn. He knew this would devastate her and yet, he agreed, she had every right to know. He just wanted so desperately to protect her and take away the hurt. He turned and gave Dr. Clarkson a woeful look and the doctor gave him a slight nod and turned to go quickly before Elsie could say anything.

Just as she opened her mouth to inquire why Dr. Clarkson left the room, her face was slightly red with anger, Charles just said it. "You had a miscarriage." The room filled with total silence and Charles bowed his head..

"What?" She asked quietly.

An expression of deep pain, regret, loss, spread across his face. His eyes filled with tears. "You...were...pregnant...and your body...just couldn't...handle it. You uh...you almost died Elsie...almost bled to death." He locked eyes with hers and a tear escapes down his cheek. "I almost lost you." he whispers.

Elsie said nothing; she turned her head to the side and sat stunned. The silence was the loudest thing Charles had heard in while. That great sense of loss, sadness, came rushing in and it made sense now. She brought her hands up, covering her face and soon her body began to shake with quiet sobs.

Charles wasn't sure what to do, to say. His heart broke for her, for him, for the loss of a child that might have been had he acted on his feelings years ago. He thought that he would never forgive himself for robbing her of the opportunity to be a mother.

His attention was caught by a sound in the direction of the door. Lord Grantham stood motionless, quickly realizing the fragility of the moment. Carson left where he was and joined Robert near the door. "Has there been a set back?" he asked.

"No..not exactly." Charles glanced back toward Elsie who had turned on her side and then nudged his Lordship out into the hall.

"I'm sorry Carson. I went for a walk and ended up here, wanting to know how Mrs. Hughes was? I see it's not the best timing."

"It's good of you to come milord but yes it's not the best time. Elsie…Mrs. Hughes just received some devastating news."

"Oh? What is it? Can you tell me?" Lord Grantham questioned as if Charles was a close relative.

Charles lowered his gaze to the floor. He didn't want people to know what really happened. He didn't' want to embarrass Elsie but he considered that His Lordship has been through this and he might be the one person Charles' could go to.

TBC….


	23. Chapter 23

Sorry Ya'll for the slow update! I will hopefully keep going after that short sabbitical. I've had SUCH fun setting up and playing over on tumblr the last few days! Thanks so so so much for reviews and encouragements and thoughts about where our lovelies are going here. Enjoy!

* * *

"It seems...Mrs. Hughes...was..." Charles rubbed his brow. "Oh...this is not easy Milord...not easy at all."

"Carson, what it is? You can tell me."

"She was with child. Her body couldn't handle it and...she lost it." There is a long pause between them.

Robert was stunned. "Oh my dear chap. I cannot tell you how sorry I am."

"Neither of us expected anything like that...Dr. Clarkson said a viable pregnancy would've been nearly impossible...at her age." His voice was sad and he looked to Robert with a pained expression. "I didn't know..." He was holding onto a bit of guilt and embarrassment. "I feel a bit stupid..." Charles lowered his gaze.

Robert is all too familiar with these emotions. He too was dumbfounded when they found out Cora was pregnant after 18 years of not bearing children. He truly felt for Carson. "Carson, I do empathize with you. I've been there you know."

"I know milord. I don't imagine I could share this with anyone else but you."

"You mustn't beat yourself up chap. In no way could you have known, these things are not for us to decide or control, there is a higher power that commands all things under the earth. We are only given the wherewithal to manage through them."

"Hmmm...yes..I suppose."

"Please let me know how I can help if you need it. I am your employer, that is true, but I also consider you to be one of my closest confidants. You're as close to _all_ of us...as if you were family Carson...However unenglish that is for me to say...I truly mean it." Robert extended his hand to his friend.

Carson took a moment to let those words sink in and then accepted his warm handshake. "Thank you...milord. You don't know how much that means to me."

"I think I do Carson. Please give my sentiments to Mrs. Hughes and do let her know I called after her."

"I will. And...would you be so kind as to keep all of this under...your hat? I certainly do not want the staff to know and I don't know how much Elsie..Mrs. Hughes... will want anyone to know."

"Of course..." he agreed.

* * *

Charles was struggling to go back to work. He knew things would be fine at the Abbey without him, but he wondered if it would be better for both of them to spend some time alone this afternoon. She had become very quiet, almost despondent and he didn't want to smother her if she needed some time.

"Dear? I thought I might go back to the Abbey and work on my orders?" He spoke quietly.

She looked at him and smiled so sweetly he thought his heart would surely crumble. "Certainly Charles. You do what you need to do. I'm fine." she lied.

He went to her and sat beside the bed, taking her hand in his. "Elsie...I wish I knew what to say to take away this pain."

She covered his hand with hers. "I know you do and that alone takes some of it away." Her eyes fill with tears and she looks away. "Things could be a lot worse you know. I _could _have cancer..." her voice was far away.

"I wish I could hold you just now."

Elsie smiled and ran her thumb over the back of his hand. Her desire to be intimate had waned but she longed to be close to him, feel his strong arms around her small frame. "I do too. I hope I can go soon. I'm tired of this place. I want to be...home." She wasn't sure where home was. She still had reservations about taking the Bates' cottage yet she wasn't sure she could feel completely at home at Downton. Her eyes welled with tears and she could not stop the emotion. Charles felt his heart would break in two.

* * *

"Okay...steady now. Not too fast." Charles helped Elsie out of the car in front of the cottage that there had been calling home for the last 2 weeks.

"I can walk you know! I'm not paralyzed!" Elsie took his hand and gets her footing on the soft ground.

"I just don't want you to topple over." They get inside and Charles dismissed the chauffeur once again. "Thank you Smithson."

"Oh Charles!" Elsie glanced around the cottage and beautiful milk glass vases with roses adorned every surface, the kitchen table, the hearth, the small occasional table in the living area, the window sill in the kitchen. Her mouth fell open. "It's lovely." she whispered and turned to him. She reached up and lightly brushed a straying lock of gray hair away from his forehead. "You're too good to me." She smiled.

"It's the least I can do." He leaned down and kissed her.

* * *

He got her settled inside, on the settee in the small living area. A fire was going, even though it wasn't particularly cold. Spring was here and the days were warm but evenings were a little chilly and Charles wanted her to be completely comfortable once at the cottage. It was nice and she actually did feel a sense of home. Maybe it was being in a hospital for the last week that created that feeling. Nonetheless, she felt it and it made her feel happy.

Mrs. Patmore brought supper and had the scullery maids stock Elsie's icebox and pantry with goods. She stayed and visited with them for awhile and tried to encourage her friend to rest and take as much time as she needed.

"How are you feeling love?" Charles cleared the small table of plates and silverware. He wasn't accustomed to cleaning up but was certainly a pro at it. He put on her apron to make her laugh and it did. Why don't you relax while I finish the supper dishes."

"I'm enjoying watching my brute of a man wash dishes actually." she giggled.

"Well then watch the magic!" He picked up 3 apples that Mrs. Patmore had delivered and started to juggle them. Elsie's face lit up like she was a young girl, at the circus.

"CHARLES!" She squealed with delight! "I didn't know you knew how to juggle!"

"Oh I'm full of surprises Mrs. Carson! Just wait!" he focused on the fruit for a moment more then put them down.

Elsie's heart swelled with pride and love for him. He truly was an amazing man, she thought. "I can't wait!"

"Mmmm...that feels so good sweetheart." Elsie's legs rested in Charles' lap as he smoothed his thumb, thoughtfully and firmly, across the instep of one foot. She watched him for a long while, watched his face, his expression as he kneaded her feet. Her heart clenched tight with overwhelming love for him. "Thank you." Elsie's breath was ragged and filled with emotion.

"For what?" he questioned without looking.

"For...everything..." she choked on her words. When Charles glanced to her, tears had spilled over the boundaries and were streaming down her face.

"Now...what is this about?!" He moved her legs out of his lap, turning her just enough so that he could hold her. "Why the tears?" He consoled her almost like a father would console his child. He brought her close to his chest and let her cry.

"Oh Charles, you've been so kind and loving these last few weeks and you have had no idea what you were getting in to; and old, sick, woman with nothing to offer..." she sobbed heavier into his chest.

He smiled into her hair. "I am kind and loving to a woman who has tolerated my foolishness and silence for far too long, a woman who has loved me quietly and patiently, who has been at my side and held my heart in her hand in private." He pulled her away from him and tipped her chin up with his finger. "My darling Elsie. You are the great love of my life. You are beautiful, you are sexy, smart..confident. I love you with a love that is so deep, words cannot describe it, actions cannot convey it. You have given me everything I've ever wanted in this life." His eyes are dark and fierce with emotion. He took her face in his hands. "Don't you ever forget that!"

She closed her eyes as tears came steadily. "I'm broken..Charles. I feel like I'm broken and incomplete...and just sick with sadness that I've lost..._our_...child. I know we are too _old_ and it surely wasn't meant to happen at this stage in our lives but...oh...what if..." she sobbed again into his chest.

His hazel eyes quickly filled to brimming and the pain spilled down his cheeks. "Oh Elsie...I'm sad too but I certainly do _not_ blame you." His chest constricted with pain too great to even know what to say. "If anything...it's my fault..."

Accosted, Elsie raised her eyes to look at him, noticing his tears, she closed hers again and shook her head to hopefully squeeze away the excruciating pain of knowing what they'd lost. She had longed and dreamed of a child.._his_ child..on her lap; a boy with his handsome good looks and her piercing blue eyes. That child had become a regular on the reel in her mind over the years. Yet the older she had gotten...they had gotten...the dream faded and reality gave way to simpler, more obtainable things. The last 2 days, that little boy had returned to her mind. She hadn't shared it with him and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment to even think about it. She was _old,_ she had told herself, and being pregnant and having a child at nearly 60 years old was nothing but a fantasy.

TBC...


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry for the slow updates. I'm struggling with storyline. So true how angst and dread are easier to write! ha! Bare with me..I'll find my footing again!

* * *

"Oh honey, come to bed." Elsie kisses Charles on the forehead and rubs a slender hand over his night shirt. "Come on..." she encourages him to sit up.

"Wh...what? What is it?" He sits up with a start and she pats him on the back.

"Nothing's the matter...just come to bed! Why are you still in here?"

Charles is wobbly and groans when he stands. "Ahhh...I wanted you to sleep well and...that bed is a little small..."

"Oh! Well I've slept the last week without you in my bed and I'll be damned if I'm sleeping another! Now come on with you!" She wrapped her hand firmly around his upper arm and led him down the hallway to their bed. He staggered a bit and it made her giggle.

"Elsie...I don't mind to let you..." He protested when they reached the bed.

"Hush now! You are sleeping right here." She countered.

"You aren't strong enough to be helping me into bed! Now stop that." He swatted at her hand as she tried to help lift his legs onto the bed. She got tickled and started laughing which made him start laughing as he struggled to get on the bed.

"Els..." his words were broken, the more he tried to talk, the more he laughed which made her laugh. "Elsie...you must stop...you are..." Tears were running down her cheeks. "You are in no shape..."

"I'm going to pee myself if I don't stop..." she squealed with laughter.

"You're going to _hurt_ yourself!" He sat on the edge of the bed, she in front of him. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "But oh how I love to hear you laugh." His voice softened and he pulled her into his arms.

She smiled and ran her fingers down his cheek. "I love to hear you laugh as well. You know I don't think I've ever heard you laugh like _that_!"

"To be honest, I'm not sure _when_ I've laughed like that." He was eye level with her breasts and his desire was growing but he knew that would be futile so he pulled away. "We better get in bed babe." He patted her thigh.

Elsie sensed his reservation and considered how the next few weeks would be for him...for her too. They had just spent the most intimate two weeks of their lives and it all came to an abrupt halt without warning. Her body was confused, her hormone levels off kilter but her heart was very much intact. They had suffered, together, a huge loss but she was thankful every minute that she did not have cancer and that Charles was by her side. In the quietness of the last few days she had considered how all of this would have been without him and the tears would come out of sheer gratitude.

She didn't move immediately. She wanted him to know how she felt about this new development in their love life. She brought her hands up to cup his cheeks. "Charles...I'm sorry we can't make love." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm _sorry_..." a tear escaped down her cheek. "I want to please you….I want to…."

He brought his arms around her bottom and laid his head at her breasts. He took in a deep breath, her scent, and then looked up at her. "I _do _love making love to you. I love your body, the way to taste, smell, and the way you move. But my love for you is not dependent on me being inside of you, Elsie. This is temporary...I know that. We will find our rhythm again and it will be better than ever."

Much to her surprise, she felt that familiar tingle inside and she knew she had better just get in bed and go to sleep before they were both miserable. She leaned down and kissed him tenderly but quickly. "6 weeks...Dr. Clarkson said 6 weeks without any complications."

"You talked to him about...that?" he asked surprised as he got under the covers and helped her get in beside him. She backed up to him, could feel that him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and closed his eyes against the softness of her braid that tickled his chest.

"Yes...I did." she answered, her tone laced with confidence and . "He's a doctor sweetheart...and whether you like it or not, he does know that you and I are…lovers." She smiles and pats his arm.

"Okay...okay...I know. I'm glad you did." He whispers back into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "Your self-assurance...your confidence in us...makes me...very..." he closed his eyes and took in a deep respiration. She turned over in his arms, nestling her leg between his two, laying her cheek against the soft curls at his chest. "...makes me...mmmmm..." he groans and they both laugh. "It's such a turn on…

"I know what it does to you..." she coo'd and reached up to caress his cheek with her hand.

They chat quietly, laugh and nuzzle against one another. She was glad when the conversation lulled and she heard the respiration's that signaled he was asleep...satisfied. She was sure he had not slept, deeply, since last being in her bed, wrapped around her. She stroked the arm that lay peacefully at her abdomen. "I love you Charles." She whispers into the night.

* * *

Elsie rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She could tell by the sunlight through the cotton fabric at the window that it was late in the morning. She could hear him, in the kitchen and it made her smile. She looked around for her robe and couldn't find it, puzzled, she walked to the chair in the bedroom where his clothes were and slipped on his white button down. It smelled so good...him...his essence. She drew in a breath and closed her eyes while buttoning a few of the buttons, just enough to cover.

When she reached the kitchen she giggled and leaned against the wall to watch him, he was at the stove, in her robe. He didn't hear her and hummed loudly while he scrambled eggs. "You look darling...darling," she called.

He spun around, his grin was delicious. "You like it?" He pulled the fabric out and daintily did a curtsy. "It's just a little something I threw together!" He joked. She giggled.

"Well it's a little feminine for you but I personally am enjoying that is it three times too small!"

Charles glanced down to the rather large gap revealing the biggest part of his undershorts. He blushed even though he had planned it that way.

"Oh beg pardon milady! Forgive me for embarrassing you." He sung out.

"Oh not at all sir...you're not embarrassing me atall. Why I am rather enjoying the view." She sang right back.

His gaze fell on her, in his shirt, and his tone grew more serious. "And aren't you a sight?" He reached her in two steps , wrapped one arm around her small waist, leaned down and kissed her warmly. "Good morning my beauty. How did you sleep? How do you feel?" He questioned with sincerity.

She ran her hand inside the robe and across the soft curls at his chest. "Mmmm...better than I've slept in a week! I don't like being away from you." They kiss again and again and once more before he turns to rescue the eggs.

"I feel good...better. I'm so surprised at my lack of strength but I guess..." She sat at the table and he poured her a cup of tea. "Mmm...thank you sweetheart."

"You nearly died my love. You are going to be weak for a while. And I want you to take it easy! NO work!" He plated their breakfast and sat it down in front of her and the seat beside her.

"I'm so bored Charles. I'm so tired of lying around." She took a bite of the food. "Oh darling..this is wonderful! I didn't know you cooked so well! I should've known...you're good at everything you do." She says lovingly and gives him a longing look.

"I can make due when I need to Mrs. Carson. You can walk with me to the Abbey where you will rest, in your sitting room or my pantry, whilst I work. You may not do anything to over exert yourself!" he gave her a playful glare; his bushy eyebrows wrinkled low over his eyes.

"Oh would you take me with you today? I shall love to be there. I can work on invoices, which I'm sure are backed up!" She had set her fork down and reached over to take his cheeks in her hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Thank you love…thank you…"

TBC…..


	25. Chapter 25

**I love being a Chelsie Shipper! I love writing and I LOVE reading so many of your stories! Thank you for your enthusiasm and encouragement. I offer the same to ALL of you who write about our loves!**

**It is sometimes hard to write the hard stuff and I often struggle to write in canon and keep it as real as possible. I know a lot of this is NOT but I didn't feel like I could totally ignore what Elsie has been through as a woman. I've experienced some of what she has, in this story, and it SUCKS when you cannot control your own mind and thoughts.**

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Weeks turned into months and they passed slowly. Charles and Elsie Carson had fallen into a pattern of work and life that, outwardly, was working. Elsie however was struggling to keep her wits about her. She was melancholy most days and Charles knew it. He had spent the first few weeks, outside of her illness, working so hard to fill their days with laughter and love and memories. His efforts slowly waned as her mood became more depressed and emotionally unstable. She cried more than anything else. Elsie cursed herself, blamed herself for it, albeit Dr. Clarkson had warned her about this.

_'Sometimes, often times, a woman who goes through what you have, will experience a period of deep depression and melancholy. It's not uncommon but it can be very devastating, especially on a marriage.'_ His words had turned over and over inside her when the silence of her mind was too loud.

She grieved for them, for Charles, for the child they lost. In rare moments of contentment, she reasoned how impossible it would have been to be parents, this late in life, and it simply was not meant to be. She even tried to convince herself, she was never pregnant, it never happened and Dr. Clarkson misdiagnosed the cause of the hemorrhage. He had been wrong before, she tried to reason.

Elsie had stopped going to the Abbey mostly. She went only to do invoicing and ordering but left the daily duties to Anna, who seemed to be getting along just fine.

Charles missed her terribly, missed her at the Abbey and missed her at home. She never failed to have his supper ready and fixed his breakfast most mornings. She was never cross or angry at him. She was sweet and loving toward him and had even let him make love to her a few times but he could sense she wasn't there...not really. He grieved quietly, fearful that she might never recover. He had shared his thoughts with Lord Grantham when he felt in despair about what to do...say..

"Apparently, it's to be expected Carson. She has suffered a great deal emotionally and apparently these things, with women, can really give them a wallop. She should talk to her ladyship. She experienced some of the same feelings after losing..." he paused. "Well...I'll encourage her ladyship to call on Mrs. Hughes." Robert had offered.

Charles walked home, the path lit only by a small lantern that he carried. It had been a long day, one in which he had not seen his wife for it's entirety. She was sleeping when he left and she never made it to the Abbey. He used to get sick with worry when she started not showing up, but now he almost knew she would still be in bed when he returned hours later. He reached the door to the cottage that had become theirs for the last 5 months. He stood for a long while before going in. The lights were off, he was sure she was in bed. His heart ached for her, for him, but he still believed in her and hoped beyond hope for her return. He stepped in and could see his supper on the stove, a candle flickered on the wooden plank shelf above it. The cottage was impeccably clean and smelled of her essence. He wandered back to the bedroom. She wasn't there so he went to the closed bathroom door and rapt lightly. "Love? You in there?"

"Yes sweetheart. I'm bathing."

"May I come in?" He asked politely.

"Of course."

He opened the door and stood in the doorway, a slight smile on his face.

She smiled back, her head rested on the curve of the claw foot tub, her knees drawn up slightly. "How was your day?" She questioned.

"It was alright...I guess." He stayed where he was but reached up to loosen his collar and unbutton his waist coat. "I...missed you." His words seemed so empty to him. He had said that so many times over the last months and he was beginning to hate them.

"I missed you love." She remained with her head back and eyes closed.

"What...did you do...today?" He glanced around, leaning heavily on the door frame and slipping his hand into his pocket.

She gave him a dismal look. "Not much.." she was embarrassed and berated herself silently.

They made small pleasantries about the Abbey and the Crawley's. The weather. "It's raining." he informed her.

"Oh? Must have just started."

"It did, on my walk home."

Her heart tightened in her chest, the thought of him walking home, in the dark, in the rain, with only a small lantern. She wanted so desperately to get out of this tub and go to him, warm him, show him it was going to be okay but she remained.

"I left supper for you, I wasn't sure what time you would come in."

"I saw it. Thank you love. Did you eat?" He inquired, knowing the answer was likely no.

"I ate...some..." she dropped her eyes. He had started to get on to her for not eating. She had lost so much weight and was starting to look sick again. He gave her a knowing look. "I did...a little," she insisted.

He let it go. There was no use anyhow, he thought. "Okay, as long as you're eating..."

When it was obvious she was not going to join him he finally moved away from the door. "I'll...uh...go eat supper and let you...finish..."

"Okay..." she returned sadly. He closed the door and she began to cry, once again.

Elsie hurriedly got out of the tub and dressed for bed. She wanted to be in bed before he returned. She accomplished that goal. She heard him put away the dishes and anticipated his return to the bedroom but he didn't. She laid quietly for an hour or so, she cried and fought with her mind to go see about him. She just couldn't bring herself to get up. She wanted to, she wanted him to know how very much she loved him and still wanted him but she just couldn't break the chains that had bound her.

Charles sat in the quiet of the living room, the fire light flickering softly while he nursed a brandy. His mind whirled with confusing thoughts. He didn't know what to think, how to feel. He had never been through anything like this. It was so different when Elsie was sick and needed him. Now, she had slowly retreated inward and didn't seem to need _or_ want him. He had talked to Dr. Clarkson, his head knew this was normal for what she was been through but his heart was breaking and he was scared he was losing her. He took another sip of brandy and leaned his weary head against the back of the chair.

He considered himself past his prime but had enjoyed a few weeks of blissful passion and play with her, she had obliged him only a few times since this melancholy had taken over their lives. Often times he felt like he was back at square one, tending to his own personal needs, in the dark of the night, she having no clue like so many years before. He often felt ashamed but try as he might, he still wanted her...needed her and the mere sight of her still drove him to desire that he could not contain. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, emptied his glass and got up to go to bed.

From the window the morning light cast a long, narrow beam across the bedroom. It was early and Charles had not slept much. He glanced over and Elsie was still sleeping. He stared for a long while at her. She looked beautiful, peaceful. You would never know there was a war going on inside of her. He laid there, remembering their first days as husband and wife. He tried to keep his desire for her at bay. He knew it would not benefit him to think about her...sexually. It was to no avail. He wanted her so badly and squeezed his eyes closed and turned away from her, struggling to stop the onslaught of his erection.

Elsie awakened and blinked the sleep from her eyes. She stared at Charles' back quietly and quickly realized what was happening. The steady rhythm of his arm, shoulder, the movement, the upward motion, she knew what he was doing and her heart broke, as it had so many times in the last many months that she had denied him this one important pleasure. She endeavored to make no noise, she considered closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep but she was so convicted. She lifted her hand to touch him several times before actually doing it.

He tensed upon her touch and stayed motionless for a moment. He didn't want to turn over, knowing his desire would show. He wondered if she had noticed and if he could simply act like he was still sleeping. His heart ached.

The warmth of her hand, the caress in her fingertips caused his breath to catch, his teeth to grind. He needed her so badly. So badly. "He turned over and their shimmering eyes met with a familiar need and his forlorn expression was too much. Elsie reached up and stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes, forcing the tears downward. "I need you..." he whispers. She nods in acknowledgement, her own tears spilling over their boundaries as he hungrily covers her mouth with his.

TBC...


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you ALL for your reviews! It truly means so much and if you write..you totally understand that statement! I am so in awe of so many of you and your writing abilities and your LOVE and devotion to Chelsie!

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Charles' need was evident and Elsie wanted desperately to please him. His tears were too much and she could not continue to deny him. "Are you sure?" he asks quietly, feathering her neck with light kisses.

"Yes." she answered breathlessly. She reached down and stroked him through his undershorts and he groaned.

The quiet solitude of the morning was soon interrupted with the sounds of passion. Charles moaned while he petted her jawline and neck with wet kisses. He squeezed her breast in his palm, closing his fingers around it and brought it fully to his lips. He circled the nipple with his tongue and sucked gently. "baby"...he murmured. He moved up her again, his body heavy against hers and met her gaze. He smiled and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I love you so..."

"And I love you." she reached down and pulled her nightgown up around her waist, her eyes never leaving his. She had grown accustomed to sleeping with no undergarments on so she was bare and when Charles glanced down, he took in a long, deep, breath. It had been so long since he had the privilege of being right here. He felt like a schoolboy again and his face blushed feverishly. He moved from the bed and pulled his shorts off. She sat up and let him pull her nightgown over her head before laying back again to wait for him. He stood in awe of her body. Her creamy skin tone, the curve of her full breasts and the protrusion of her collarbone made his cock jerk involuntarily. He joined her again on the bed and kissed her, his tongue finding hers. They kissed for a long while, this simple act meaning so much to both of them. It was the foreplay that started their physical relationship, it was the one thing they could do, when they could do nothing else. He knew her lips like he knew he was breathing.

Elsie reached up and touched his bottom lip with her slender finger. "I love you.." she whispered between her caresses. Charles was rock hard and she knew he needed release. "Make love to me Charles. I want you inside me."

He obeyed, moving over her, she opened her thighs. He eagerly pushed in. "Oh honey...wait...slow..." she instructed him.

"Oh I'm sorry...sorry baby." Charles reached down and used his fingers to get her there. "How's that?" She nods and he enters her again with greater ease. She tensed a little and closed her eyes. "Just relax my love." Charles paid careful attention to her and endeavored to go slow and make this pleasurable for her.

He moved slowly inside of her for a long while. He knew she was just not with him and hasn't been for so so long. It pained him to make love to her when he knew she would rather not. But he needs her so, needs to feel this..._her_ around him. He buried his face between her neck and collarbone. She turns her face away from his; he sensed she was crying. They both know. This time, like too many times before, will end up in frustration and sadness.

Charles stopped his movement, not willing to push her to do something she doesn't want to do, struggling however to cover his frustration. He sighed heavily and sat back, ran a hand through his thick hair and closed his eyes.

Sobbing, Elsie brought her hand up to cover her face. "I'm sorry Charles...I thought I could..."

Angry tears pooled in Charles' hazel orbs and he sat up. "NO! NO! This is _not_ going to happen again!" He pulled her hand away from her face, a little more aggressive than he ever would intentionally be with her. "Elsie! I know you want this...I know you _need_ this. You have to trust me again. You have to listen to me and let me help you!" He begged her. He wanted so desperately for her to feel this...feel _him_ inside her. He leaned down and kissed her, he couldn't stand to see her in this state. "You _can_ do this Els..." he whispered, pleaded, breathlessly into her ear. "Don't give up...fight for us...for _this_..." he spurred her on.

She cried out slightly, her tears coming now without reserve. "I'm trying...but I don't think I can..." she choked out.

"You _can_...just relax..." he moved on top of her once again and waited for her to open her legs for him. She did and he slowly slid inside her. He raised up enough to look her in the eyes. "Open your eyes..." he commands her.

Elsie did as he asked, tears streamed from the corners of her eyes. When her eyes met his, she couldn't bare to look at him and turned her head away from him.

"NO...look at me..." he begged clenched his teeth together, his baritone voice thick with emotion. "Please Elsie...trust me..."

Once again, she obeys . "Charles...I just can't..."

"_Shhh_..." he kissed her lovingly on the lips, the cheek, nose, "Just...relax and listen to me..." his dark eyes pleaded with her. He gave her a loving smile. "I love you Elsie Carson...I _want_ you...and I _need _you and I _know_ you need me." She cried and nodded. "Remember...London?" his voice was gruff and his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "...think about the first time we made love..." His own desire building again, he continued his movement, gliding smoothly in and out. "Do you? Now...close your eyes and picture us..."

She squeezed her eyes closed, willing herself to break free from the darkness in her mind.

"Do you remember?...in London...let your mind go back there... you were so beautiful, Elsie. The first time I saw you, in that black garter and...your breasts, your body...oh god your naked body..." he now had to close his own eyes, burying his face again, his lips so close to her ear. He struggled to remain steady so he stopped his forward motion for a moment and laid quietly to catch his breath and calm down. In his motionless state, he was shocked to feel _her _move against him. Elsie raised her hips slightly and rocked gently forward, just as if it were their wedding night, just as if she did need him so badly that she could not stop the involuntary movement to feel more of him.

"That's it...oh Elsie...baby..." he kissed her more fervently now. "Elsie...remember...that night...you were so...ready...so eager." He trailed his mouth down her chin and that hollow place between her collarbones. "...so tight..." Charles pulled out of her and she whimpered.

"Honey..." she said breathlessly.

He licked and suckled at her breasts, taking his time with each one. "Your body...Elsie...oh God...you're so beautiful...remember the way I moved inside of you...how you cried out for more...how I stretched you...yes...that's it...just relax baby..." Her body began to writhe, her respiration ragged and her hands trailing through his gray locks.

"Charles...oh..." she cried but her tears were emotion wrought from pleasure...overwhelming pleasure, like the first time they made love.

"You were so hot, your body was so hot that night, in London, the first night you gave yourself to me. I buried myself deep inside you...remember love? We couldn't get close enough, deep enough." He continued kissing her, stroking her, caressing her. "Do you remember...?"

Elsie smiled and nodded. "I do my love...I do..." She arched and drew her leg up, resting her heel on his shoulder.

He reached her middle and grasped both of her hips, pulling her downward until her bottom rested on the end of the bed. He slipped just off the bed and knelt on his knees in front of her then slid his tongue gently along her folds and lapped at her opening with the most tender administrations. Elsie's knuckles were white as she gripped a handful of the sheets and brought it to her mouth to stifle her cries.

Charles made love to her with his tongue, his fingers, his words first then entered her. The moved sensually in rhythm, their rhythm until her whole body shook in pleasure, a pleasure she had never felt. It was deep inside her and the spasms were strong and seemingly unending. He met his end soon after and they collapsed, breathless and spent.

"Oh my God Charles..." Elsie was the first to speak after a long while of just heavy panting and sighing. She was elated, giddy almost. She had made love, really made love for the first time in months and she felt it...she pushed herself emotionally to the brink and it worked! She sat up, legs crossed, next to him in the bed. "Honey..._that_ was amazing! I just can't believe it..."

Charles lay reposed on his back, slowly returning to normal, his arms folded behind his head and a wide grin across his lips. "That's my girl! I knew you could do it!"


End file.
